Diva has had a rather interesting time of late. Still without a job but so very grateful that I have savings to assist me. Amazing what a single woman can save and how much money she has when an ‘it’ isn’t using her money to pay for his debt, presents for his slut or visits to his prostitute!
It has been good that I have been made to spend some time reflecting. I need to set priorities in my life and set standards and not settle for anything less that the best. I can’t be concerned about hurting somebody else because I only hurt myself in the long run. For a woman who likes to be in control, and is so strong and ‘intimidating’ (yes, I have been told I am intimidating), I have trouble saying no, or speaking my mind if it may hurt somebody even though it may be the best thing for me. Still a people pleaser which only gets me hurt.
I have found out that I may be able to find another career in the field of PORN! Yes that is right ladies and gents. Diva has been told that she is sexy and could make money as a fat porn model or as they like to call it BBW Porn pics. I can always turn my Diva blog into an adult fiction site. Who knows what the future might bring. There is a gorgeous lady who is around twice my size who makes USD$300 squashing men. Yep, she sits on them and they pay her. She doesn’t go beyond the squashing but other women in this industry do more and are paid A LOT more than that. Career possibilities are endless people. I keep getting told this but this really wasn’t what I had in mind!
I still haven’t resumed phone conversations yet or conversations in person unless really necessary. The break has been refreshing, but it is time for me to get back into it again. I will attempt that this week.
I have had quite a bit of time to contemplate things other than myself though like morning television. I have found a fabulous morning show but they still have the infomercials. They are doing my head in. I can swing my abs away, dance my fat away, cook myself great food, chop onions without crying and if they don’t please me, I can buy funeral insurance and kill myself in 12mths (they only pay on accident in the first 12mths). I may just do it but I will get my professional photographs taken first and have the crap photo shopped out of them so I look like a porn star. Hey, it’s where a lot of my money went to when I was with ‘it’ so it will be my homage to my past.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Birthday Realisations - March 2 2010
So I had my 39th birthday. It was possibly one of the worst on record. My father started verbally attacking me the night before so it was like kicking a person while they were down. It brought up a lot of emotions about the past decisions I had to make which then brought up quite a bit of regret and then extreme guilt. As per usual, I retreat into myself to protect myself from going completely insane so that means I can't answer the phone or the door. Emails and text messages are even difficult.
Anyway....enough about that.
I have been doing some thinking regarding my life and yes that has to include my weight because while I don't have a problem with my size, a lot of my personal struggles result in my weight problems. My plan is to lose 40kg's by my 40th birthday. This goal is more about me dealing with my personal issues and less about losing weight but since one leads to the other, making the weight loss a goal is easy. It is easy to say lose 40kg's in 12mths rather than I will rid myself of my emotional issues by my 40th. I have determined the following things which I need to change in my life.
I don't feel that I desesrve the best so I settle or allow myself to be pushed aside. By being fat, good things are pushed aside without me having to make that conscious admittion that I don't desesrve anything better.
I'm not a good person. Not a good friend, sister, daughter, aunt, partner, employee. I can't handle the fact that I am not good enough so being fat is an external reason for this rather than me personally which is an attack on my very being.
I need to be in control because I feel I need to or because I am told to. If I don't have an outlet to lose control, my emotions end up being sacrificed. As a kid I was told in school reports etc that I was too emotional, too dramatic, and expressing emotion was seen as bad so I learnt to hold things in and allow my body to get out of control. I don't control my food or exercise so that is my pressure valve release. Last time I lost a lot of weight was when I was out of control and having a lot of random sex, drinking, pill popping and I was also happy. I felt free from responsibility except for myself and I am a big girl that can look after herself. My emotions were in check until I found 'it' and because he was emotionally fucked up, I took control of him to fix him. My emotions had to be in check and so I lost control of my body again.
I need to find a way to direct my emotions, be able to accept that I do desesrve nothing but the best, and it is ok to look after me and by looking after me I can then be a better person to everyone around me. The next 12mths will be Diva focused. I can only focus on my needs and sadly that will mean a lot of friends will end up being disappointed in me I would imagine. Of course, if a friend or family member is in trouble and needs my help, I will be there, but I can't be there and ignore my own needs. This is selfish I admit, but I must do this if I want to have a happy life and fulfill my dreams.
I have a feeling that the universe may be starting to answer my call. I have 'met' a new person who has a similar belief in the universe that I am wanting to desperately to embrace, and I think that I may now have at least a mentor to assist me in my life learnings so I can get my life back
Anyway....enough about that.
I have been doing some thinking regarding my life and yes that has to include my weight because while I don't have a problem with my size, a lot of my personal struggles result in my weight problems. My plan is to lose 40kg's by my 40th birthday. This goal is more about me dealing with my personal issues and less about losing weight but since one leads to the other, making the weight loss a goal is easy. It is easy to say lose 40kg's in 12mths rather than I will rid myself of my emotional issues by my 40th. I have determined the following things which I need to change in my life.
I don't feel that I desesrve the best so I settle or allow myself to be pushed aside. By being fat, good things are pushed aside without me having to make that conscious admittion that I don't desesrve anything better.
I'm not a good person. Not a good friend, sister, daughter, aunt, partner, employee. I can't handle the fact that I am not good enough so being fat is an external reason for this rather than me personally which is an attack on my very being.
I need to be in control because I feel I need to or because I am told to. If I don't have an outlet to lose control, my emotions end up being sacrificed. As a kid I was told in school reports etc that I was too emotional, too dramatic, and expressing emotion was seen as bad so I learnt to hold things in and allow my body to get out of control. I don't control my food or exercise so that is my pressure valve release. Last time I lost a lot of weight was when I was out of control and having a lot of random sex, drinking, pill popping and I was also happy. I felt free from responsibility except for myself and I am a big girl that can look after herself. My emotions were in check until I found 'it' and because he was emotionally fucked up, I took control of him to fix him. My emotions had to be in check and so I lost control of my body again.
I need to find a way to direct my emotions, be able to accept that I do desesrve nothing but the best, and it is ok to look after me and by looking after me I can then be a better person to everyone around me. The next 12mths will be Diva focused. I can only focus on my needs and sadly that will mean a lot of friends will end up being disappointed in me I would imagine. Of course, if a friend or family member is in trouble and needs my help, I will be there, but I can't be there and ignore my own needs. This is selfish I admit, but I must do this if I want to have a happy life and fulfill my dreams.
I have a feeling that the universe may be starting to answer my call. I have 'met' a new person who has a similar belief in the universe that I am wanting to desperately to embrace, and I think that I may now have at least a mentor to assist me in my life learnings so I can get my life back
My Luck Had Better Bloody Change Or Else
I pulled apart a whole cooked chicken last night and the lucky part if the wishbone stayed with the chook! How is the chook lucky? I refuse to lose my luck to a dead chicken this year! Yes you can substitute dead chicken with fuckstick, asshole, fluff bunny, bimbo etc.
I Own My Feelings So Don't Analyse Them - Original post date January 2 2010
Why is it when a gorgeous man or woman of the larger persuasion is happy it is assumed they are covering up for the fact they are miserable about their weight or that they are trying to make others laugh so that they laugh with us not at us?
Why is it when the larger community are sad it is because they hate themselves and the size they are?
Yes there are times when I feel down because I am having body issues, but don't 99% of women have body issues at some stage? Even if somebody is a size 8?
There are times when I am just funny because I am me and aren't there skinny people that are funny too?
Why can't I just be happy or be sad because am human????
Why is it when the larger community are sad it is because they hate themselves and the size they are?
Yes there are times when I feel down because I am having body issues, but don't 99% of women have body issues at some stage? Even if somebody is a size 8?
There are times when I am just funny because I am me and aren't there skinny people that are funny too?
Why can't I just be happy or be sad because am human????
Happy 2010 and Lessons Learnt regarding Ring Tones - Original post date January 1 2010
What a way to see out the old and bring in the new. I won’t go into too many details however I will mention that DC was over for dinner, which I cooked and it was awesome, and a sleep over.
I have already learnt one thing this year, and I learnt it before midday. I have certain ring tones for certain people so I can have an idea of who is calling. EG, Bruce, Tongs and other said special friends have the ring tone ‘Pop, goes my heart’. Such a daggy song but hilarious and it makes m smile hence, I have assigned that to the special people in my life. DC has ‘Baby did a bad bad thing, and family have ‘We are Family’. The thing that now concerns me is the family ring tone.
Whilst DC and I were getting ‘jiggy with it’ this morning, my phone starts playing ‘We are Family’. It was my father calling. Seriously, not sure if DC heard the actual song or just the noise, but it can kinda kill a mood. Almost as bad as if a family member walked in on us. I almost felt guilty but that guilt soon went away but still, I am changing my ring tone and putting family back onto a ringtone I assign to the normal every day public. Good grief.
I have already learnt one thing this year, and I learnt it before midday. I have certain ring tones for certain people so I can have an idea of who is calling. EG, Bruce, Tongs and other said special friends have the ring tone ‘Pop, goes my heart’. Such a daggy song but hilarious and it makes m smile hence, I have assigned that to the special people in my life. DC has ‘Baby did a bad bad thing, and family have ‘We are Family’. The thing that now concerns me is the family ring tone.
Whilst DC and I were getting ‘jiggy with it’ this morning, my phone starts playing ‘We are Family’. It was my father calling. Seriously, not sure if DC heard the actual song or just the noise, but it can kinda kill a mood. Almost as bad as if a family member walked in on us. I almost felt guilty but that guilt soon went away but still, I am changing my ring tone and putting family back onto a ringtone I assign to the normal every day public. Good grief.
How Has This Year Helped Me Achieve My Goals? - Original post date December 29 2009
My plan over the next few days is to re-read all of my posts and work out what I can learn from my experiences this year. There have been some posts which have been just random thoughts which tells me firstly, that I am a bit of a nutter, but secondly, I have quite a bit of creative stuff happening in my head and I need a creative out let for it.
The other posts, I can’t recall in great detail at this time. I need to work out what I can do next year to get to my 40th goal of being the real me. Living my true existence and not one that I create to fit in, not fit in, be loved, be hated, be sad, be happy. I want to be ME.
I turn 39 on the 26th Feb and as my penultimate year before my new life at 40 begins, I want to have a plan in place. Ah yes, I want to control what happens.
In this case, I need to control some things because otherwise I won’t achieve my goals. On the other hand, I need to allow things to just happen or allow others to take the reins at times. I need to learn to allow others to take control in order to be truly free and find the real me.
When I have worked out what I have learnt, I will post here and then I will post my plan.
2010 and my 39th year will be my most exciting year yet!
The other posts, I can’t recall in great detail at this time. I need to work out what I can do next year to get to my 40th goal of being the real me. Living my true existence and not one that I create to fit in, not fit in, be loved, be hated, be sad, be happy. I want to be ME.
I turn 39 on the 26th Feb and as my penultimate year before my new life at 40 begins, I want to have a plan in place. Ah yes, I want to control what happens.
In this case, I need to control some things because otherwise I won’t achieve my goals. On the other hand, I need to allow things to just happen or allow others to take the reins at times. I need to learn to allow others to take control in order to be truly free and find the real me.
When I have worked out what I have learnt, I will post here and then I will post my plan.
2010 and my 39th year will be my most exciting year yet!
Happy Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Happy Bugger It - Original post date December 29 2009
I know, Diva hasn’t updated for a while. There are a couple of reasons for this. Firstly, Diva has had a few issues that have left her feeling less than inspired and secondly, I didn’t want to jinx anything.
My father became quite ill and was rushed to hospital. After 10 days he was home and all is good now but we nearly lost him. This threw me for six. I know he drives me mad but I wasn’t prepared to lose him. When mum passed, we had plenty of time to prepare and ‘get used to the idea’, but with my father, he is reasonably healthy day to day.
Prior to this, I had decided to keep off the internet dating sites and become a single, cranky, weird old spinster with dogs as company. This was a definite decision and I wasn’t backing down....or so I thought.
I received an email message from a man off one of the dating sites. Something told me to reply. Not sure why. Even to this day, I have no idea why I didn’t ignore the message. We exchanged a number of emails over the next fortnight or so and he seemed to be a really lovely guy. Brain started to get all negative, which would have ordinarily stopped me from corresponding again but again, I kept at it. Eventually, I asked if he, let’s call him DC (Drew Carey because the first impression I got was that he looked like Drew) wanted to meet up for coffee. Safe date. Coffee, is short enough that if you are bored shitless or find out the guy is a sleeze bag etc, you aren’t stuck waiting for your main meal to arrive wondering if you can go to the loo and slip out the back.
My dad was taken into hospital on the Friday and yet, I arranged to meet him on the Sunday. I needed a break from the hospital so it was a great excuse. Flowers, coffee which turned into dinner and the conversation didn’t stop. I felt like I had known him for ages and I felt really comfortable, which was wonderful.
We have had a number of dates since then and I was such a ‘good girl’ for at least a month. It is easy to say ‘I know I have only known this guy for a few weeks but a shag can’t hurt’. Sadly, I can say that but very quickly, the emotions kick in and it just gets emotionally complicated. I also had the voice (not voices) in my head saying ‘sure, he is a really nice guy now, but when does he turn into an asshole?’ and I had to turn my thinking around before I could go further. It wasn’t fair on me and it wasn’t fair on him that I labelled him with the same stamp that all the previous potential partners had.
I did turn my thinking around and ‘Good girl NO MORE’. Life is great. I enjoy his company, we have been to movies, dinner, a picnic (that was so lovely) and we have spent time in front of the TV. We have a 2 night get away booked for a week from today and 2 nights at the tennis. I can’t be happier. I have also been ‘shopping’ but I won’t go into details except to say I am sure our little get away will be very nice indeed.
This is a great thing in my life. Other great things are that I have paid off my personal loan and a credit card bought my sister a car and have money in the bank.
Bad thing/good thing (both actually), I have lost my job. Asshole boss man, fluff bunny and the short man small penis big wig (smspbw) have decided that my role isn’t working and with the targets being set next year, I won’t achieve what is required. I was so incredibly unhappy having to do PR every day, bash my head against a brick wall and fight to do anything without the support of boss man and smspbw. HR pony club admitted that the company, boss man and smspbw had let me down and it was in my best interest to go because it was making me so unhappy. I had lost so much confidence this year. SMSPBW had it in for me waiting for any opportunity to get rid of me since his EA (slag face) was booted out because I had made a complaint about her discriminatory behaviour. I know I am bloody good at my job and I have more knowledge in my pinkie than boss man has in total but when you can’t do your job because you come up against barriers at every turn and you get no support, you start to think, ‘what is wrong with me?’ I know it wasn’t me and to have HR pony club admit it is a great thing.
I got paid 6 weeks plus holiday pay which is good. I am also glad that I have a buffer of 4 months wages additional to the pay out. This takes the pressure off me. I know that there is a fucking awesome job waiting for me out there where I will be appreciated and given the opportunity to grow. I will get way more money than I was paid at the old job and it will be awesome.
I am re-doing my vision board, re-reading ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ by Elizabeth Gilbert, and ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne before going back to Martha Beck and Louise Hays. All of this is to keep my mind focused on what I want in my life. I want a great job, healthy family and a healthy relationship with myself, friends, family and with somebody special.
My father became quite ill and was rushed to hospital. After 10 days he was home and all is good now but we nearly lost him. This threw me for six. I know he drives me mad but I wasn’t prepared to lose him. When mum passed, we had plenty of time to prepare and ‘get used to the idea’, but with my father, he is reasonably healthy day to day.
Prior to this, I had decided to keep off the internet dating sites and become a single, cranky, weird old spinster with dogs as company. This was a definite decision and I wasn’t backing down....or so I thought.
I received an email message from a man off one of the dating sites. Something told me to reply. Not sure why. Even to this day, I have no idea why I didn’t ignore the message. We exchanged a number of emails over the next fortnight or so and he seemed to be a really lovely guy. Brain started to get all negative, which would have ordinarily stopped me from corresponding again but again, I kept at it. Eventually, I asked if he, let’s call him DC (Drew Carey because the first impression I got was that he looked like Drew) wanted to meet up for coffee. Safe date. Coffee, is short enough that if you are bored shitless or find out the guy is a sleeze bag etc, you aren’t stuck waiting for your main meal to arrive wondering if you can go to the loo and slip out the back.
My dad was taken into hospital on the Friday and yet, I arranged to meet him on the Sunday. I needed a break from the hospital so it was a great excuse. Flowers, coffee which turned into dinner and the conversation didn’t stop. I felt like I had known him for ages and I felt really comfortable, which was wonderful.
We have had a number of dates since then and I was such a ‘good girl’ for at least a month. It is easy to say ‘I know I have only known this guy for a few weeks but a shag can’t hurt’. Sadly, I can say that but very quickly, the emotions kick in and it just gets emotionally complicated. I also had the voice (not voices) in my head saying ‘sure, he is a really nice guy now, but when does he turn into an asshole?’ and I had to turn my thinking around before I could go further. It wasn’t fair on me and it wasn’t fair on him that I labelled him with the same stamp that all the previous potential partners had.
I did turn my thinking around and ‘Good girl NO MORE’. Life is great. I enjoy his company, we have been to movies, dinner, a picnic (that was so lovely) and we have spent time in front of the TV. We have a 2 night get away booked for a week from today and 2 nights at the tennis. I can’t be happier. I have also been ‘shopping’ but I won’t go into details except to say I am sure our little get away will be very nice indeed.
This is a great thing in my life. Other great things are that I have paid off my personal loan and a credit card bought my sister a car and have money in the bank.
Bad thing/good thing (both actually), I have lost my job. Asshole boss man, fluff bunny and the short man small penis big wig (smspbw) have decided that my role isn’t working and with the targets being set next year, I won’t achieve what is required. I was so incredibly unhappy having to do PR every day, bash my head against a brick wall and fight to do anything without the support of boss man and smspbw. HR pony club admitted that the company, boss man and smspbw had let me down and it was in my best interest to go because it was making me so unhappy. I had lost so much confidence this year. SMSPBW had it in for me waiting for any opportunity to get rid of me since his EA (slag face) was booted out because I had made a complaint about her discriminatory behaviour. I know I am bloody good at my job and I have more knowledge in my pinkie than boss man has in total but when you can’t do your job because you come up against barriers at every turn and you get no support, you start to think, ‘what is wrong with me?’ I know it wasn’t me and to have HR pony club admit it is a great thing.
I got paid 6 weeks plus holiday pay which is good. I am also glad that I have a buffer of 4 months wages additional to the pay out. This takes the pressure off me. I know that there is a fucking awesome job waiting for me out there where I will be appreciated and given the opportunity to grow. I will get way more money than I was paid at the old job and it will be awesome.
I am re-doing my vision board, re-reading ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ by Elizabeth Gilbert, and ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne before going back to Martha Beck and Louise Hays. All of this is to keep my mind focused on what I want in my life. I want a great job, healthy family and a healthy relationship with myself, friends, family and with somebody special.
Potential Ventures - Original post date November 5 2009
Speaking with my dear friend Bruce today about stuff, which is what we usually talk about. We make a great team and it was agreed we should start up a business together. Now his nick name used to be Phat Man so his suggestion for the business name is Diva and the Phat Man. I LOVE IT!
Now, what would this business do? Doesn’t really matter actually as long as we didn’t have to work too hard and made lots of money. I had a thought that since I love food and fabulousness, we could have a little cafe, BUT, it would be a cafe which had a little stage where Diva would do impromptu Diva lessons. Updates, life observations etc. The trick is that you wouldn’t know when these would happen, so people would turn up and hope for the best. Time limit on the length of stay at the table before paying another cover charge. Yep, I think that would be fabulous. I would be happy cooking awesome cafe stuff, and my partner in crime could be in charge of PR, marketing and music. I think this is an awesome idea.
It is agreed also, that Diva needs to be turned into a screenplay. It will happen. I am too fabulous not to be taken out and exploited!
Now, what would this business do? Doesn’t really matter actually as long as we didn’t have to work too hard and made lots of money. I had a thought that since I love food and fabulousness, we could have a little cafe, BUT, it would be a cafe which had a little stage where Diva would do impromptu Diva lessons. Updates, life observations etc. The trick is that you wouldn’t know when these would happen, so people would turn up and hope for the best. Time limit on the length of stay at the table before paying another cover charge. Yep, I think that would be fabulous. I would be happy cooking awesome cafe stuff, and my partner in crime could be in charge of PR, marketing and music. I think this is an awesome idea.
It is agreed also, that Diva needs to be turned into a screenplay. It will happen. I am too fabulous not to be taken out and exploited!
Sorry And Yay! - Original post date November 2 2009
I have just read the last few entries and must apologise for my bad language. I didn’t realise I had written ‘fuck’ so much. Totally not classy.
Also need to mention that things maybe starting to look up in some areas. Stay tuned for more details later in the bulletin
Also need to mention that things maybe starting to look up in some areas. Stay tuned for more details later in the bulletin
The Princess, The Bagel And The Lucky Potential Castrati
Was taking a leisurely lunch break at our local shopping complex and I decided to grab myself a specialty chicken and bacon bagel, NO PICKLE. I have to ask, who would put pickle on a bloody bagel? It isn’t McDonalds!
I watch a woman make a chicken and bacon bagel with pickle. I just knew it couldn’t be mine since it had pickle on it, but then the unthinkable happened. She pulled it apart, took the pickle off, put it together and then called my number. I politely said, sorry, but would like a new one because the chicken, lettuce and tomato would now taste like pickles. I do say, politely. I was once in customer service, and didn’t want to give the moron grief.
She spoke to her boss and he went nuts, he said he would give me my money back but he wasn’t going to waste a bagel for the sake of some pickle juice and that I was being totally unreasonable. I mentioned the phrase, ‘the customer is always right’ to which he wanked on about being in customer service for 20yrs and the customer is only right when they are being reasonable, and since I was being ridiculous, he was right not me.
I gladly took the money, and then asked to purchase a chicken and bacon bagel no pickle, to which he got the one that had pickle juice on it and handed it to me. When I asked for a freshly made bagel as any paying customer would expect he said that he wasn’t going to waste a perfectly good bagel.
I told him in no uncertain terms that he was a fuckwit and he was lucky I was medicated because I would have covered him in pickle juice and then asked him if I were unreasonable. I did turn a couple of people away from his shop so I felt good.
I watch a woman make a chicken and bacon bagel with pickle. I just knew it couldn’t be mine since it had pickle on it, but then the unthinkable happened. She pulled it apart, took the pickle off, put it together and then called my number. I politely said, sorry, but would like a new one because the chicken, lettuce and tomato would now taste like pickles. I do say, politely. I was once in customer service, and didn’t want to give the moron grief.
She spoke to her boss and he went nuts, he said he would give me my money back but he wasn’t going to waste a bagel for the sake of some pickle juice and that I was being totally unreasonable. I mentioned the phrase, ‘the customer is always right’ to which he wanked on about being in customer service for 20yrs and the customer is only right when they are being reasonable, and since I was being ridiculous, he was right not me.
I gladly took the money, and then asked to purchase a chicken and bacon bagel no pickle, to which he got the one that had pickle juice on it and handed it to me. When I asked for a freshly made bagel as any paying customer would expect he said that he wasn’t going to waste a perfectly good bagel.
I told him in no uncertain terms that he was a fuckwit and he was lucky I was medicated because I would have covered him in pickle juice and then asked him if I were unreasonable. I did turn a couple of people away from his shop so I felt good.
Lessons - Original post date October 24 2009
I am 38 and aboard the menopause express. Yes it is early, I know, but thanks to my genes (ta Mum) and the fact that I have been in a chemically induced menopause for almost a decade now means it is happening all on its own. I like things being chemically induced. Things happen without the hideous side effects.
Natural is not always better. I have been thrown into the fire pit of hell without all the cool people (pardon the pun) there to enjoy the tropical heat with me.
I feel it is my duty to explain a few things which really evolve around men.
The fact that menopause actually has the word men in it means I am justified in hating you (unless you are the platonic male friend and then I love you and that is that) and dare a man come near me at the moment. A guy looks once at my boobs and I will bite his head off let along looking twice. Surely once is enough. My boobs hurt, so don’t think that I would get turned on by you treating my nipples as knobs on a very old radio that need loosening up. I swear don't ask me if I am alright when clearly, if I am sweating like a spit roast pig, teary, and screaming at you, I AM NOT ALRIGHT! Speaking of the pits of hell and spit roast pig, this is why my cheeks are flushed. It isn’t because you turn me on or I have just taken the vibrator on a whirl wind tour. Do not even attempt to tell me I look like I have spent the day in the sun and ask did I enjoy it. Don’t tell me I look tired, ill, cranky, upset or otherwise. In fact don’t tell me I am beautiful because men only say that to get a woman’s clothes off and it just ain’t going to work. My head is pounding almost constantly so if you give me information I am supposed to retain, don't think for a minute that I have retained it because most of the time, you speak shit so repetition is the key but don't repeat it too much because then you sound like you are treating me like an idiot. If you make your verbal diarrhea more interesting, we wouldn't have a problem. If a man asks if there is anything he could do, expect 'die' or 'buy a one way ticket to hell' to be the suggestion. Harsh I hear you say. Perhaps, but harden the fuck up and understand that I am right, you are wrong and the world will be a better place.
Here endeth the lesson. Amen
Natural is not always better. I have been thrown into the fire pit of hell without all the cool people (pardon the pun) there to enjoy the tropical heat with me.
I feel it is my duty to explain a few things which really evolve around men.
The fact that menopause actually has the word men in it means I am justified in hating you (unless you are the platonic male friend and then I love you and that is that) and dare a man come near me at the moment. A guy looks once at my boobs and I will bite his head off let along looking twice. Surely once is enough. My boobs hurt, so don’t think that I would get turned on by you treating my nipples as knobs on a very old radio that need loosening up. I swear don't ask me if I am alright when clearly, if I am sweating like a spit roast pig, teary, and screaming at you, I AM NOT ALRIGHT! Speaking of the pits of hell and spit roast pig, this is why my cheeks are flushed. It isn’t because you turn me on or I have just taken the vibrator on a whirl wind tour. Do not even attempt to tell me I look like I have spent the day in the sun and ask did I enjoy it. Don’t tell me I look tired, ill, cranky, upset or otherwise. In fact don’t tell me I am beautiful because men only say that to get a woman’s clothes off and it just ain’t going to work. My head is pounding almost constantly so if you give me information I am supposed to retain, don't think for a minute that I have retained it because most of the time, you speak shit so repetition is the key but don't repeat it too much because then you sound like you are treating me like an idiot. If you make your verbal diarrhea more interesting, we wouldn't have a problem. If a man asks if there is anything he could do, expect 'die' or 'buy a one way ticket to hell' to be the suggestion. Harsh I hear you say. Perhaps, but harden the fuck up and understand that I am right, you are wrong and the world will be a better place.
Here endeth the lesson. Amen
Road Trip Part Deux - Original post date October 12 2009
Well, Tongs, Mash and I went on our little road trip to country wine region. Not the commercial area up north but the country type where people will chat to you just because they are nice people.
Anyway, I can't say too much due to road trip rules, however, I can say I may have assulted a banana, and I tied up mash, and tongs and whisk were having their way big time. Ok, this tied up mash was actually a potato masher tied with shoe laces tied to a wrought iron bed and salad tongs and a balloon whisk were placed on the pillow like there was a lot of 'monkey' going on.
Yes there was much alcohol consumed and I still didn't get much sleep but I had a blast. These 2 people are just amazing and I love having them back in my life after so many years.
I really am very lucky to have some of the most amazing people in the world as friends. They take me for who I am and if I am not having a good one, will try to cheer me up if I let them and if not, they will just let me go and when I am ready they are back with me. I have thrown the ones that couldn't accept the fact that I have flaws and I am better off for it.
Vision board is on its way. I will be posting a photo of it when it is finished. Just thinking about the vision board has got a few things moving which is fantastic. Perhaps I should put a big bed with sleep above it and maybe that will help the insomnia. Either that or abduct a very cute bed partner to cuddle me in bed. No hanky panky right now, just cuddle me to sleep. Perhaps my vision board should include both. Now, THAT'S an idea!
Anyway, I can't say too much due to road trip rules, however, I can say I may have assulted a banana, and I tied up mash, and tongs and whisk were having their way big time. Ok, this tied up mash was actually a potato masher tied with shoe laces tied to a wrought iron bed and salad tongs and a balloon whisk were placed on the pillow like there was a lot of 'monkey' going on.
Yes there was much alcohol consumed and I still didn't get much sleep but I had a blast. These 2 people are just amazing and I love having them back in my life after so many years.
I really am very lucky to have some of the most amazing people in the world as friends. They take me for who I am and if I am not having a good one, will try to cheer me up if I let them and if not, they will just let me go and when I am ready they are back with me. I have thrown the ones that couldn't accept the fact that I have flaws and I am better off for it.
Vision board is on its way. I will be posting a photo of it when it is finished. Just thinking about the vision board has got a few things moving which is fantastic. Perhaps I should put a big bed with sleep above it and maybe that will help the insomnia. Either that or abduct a very cute bed partner to cuddle me in bed. No hanky panky right now, just cuddle me to sleep. Perhaps my vision board should include both. Now, THAT'S an idea!
Visions - Original post date October 4 2009
One thing I tend to do when I have an emotional melt down, is I turn to the self help books which haven’t helped me in the past, but I have some sort of delusional thinking that this time it will be different.
In line with The Secret, Louise Hays, Martha Beck and others of their ‘cult’, I have decided to create a vision board.
What will this vision board do for me? Apparently, if I tell the universe exactly what I want, I will get it. Ya-whooooooo. Threesome with George Clooney and Angelina Jolie here we come!
Seriously, I need to stipulate what I want from my life and then create a vision board much like a story board for a movie or a new interior design.
I am going to stipulate the following
- Financial freedom
- Debt free unless a house. I am well on my way. Yay me.
- Purchasing a house
- Great well paying job where my talents and contribution is appreciated
- Healthy life (means exercising, eating right, keeping my emotional state in check)
- Healthy relationships with my friends
- A healthy intimate relationship with the ‘one’
- New car
- Mac computer
- Video camera
- Dare2Diva to be read by millions
- Get on morning TV (yep I am a show pony)
- Lose weight for charity
- Hold a charity concert where I will perform something
- Trip to Melbourne
- Overseas holiday
Once I get it going, I will probably have a heap of things on it, but if I don’t ask, I won’t receive apparently!
I am off to my favourite wine town next weekend with Tongs and Mash and I have decided that is when I make my comeback. Almost ready to open the toolbox so who knows, I may start the dating thing again.
In line with The Secret, Louise Hays, Martha Beck and others of their ‘cult’, I have decided to create a vision board.
What will this vision board do for me? Apparently, if I tell the universe exactly what I want, I will get it. Ya-whooooooo. Threesome with George Clooney and Angelina Jolie here we come!
Seriously, I need to stipulate what I want from my life and then create a vision board much like a story board for a movie or a new interior design.
I am going to stipulate the following
- Financial freedom
- Debt free unless a house. I am well on my way. Yay me.
- Purchasing a house
- Great well paying job where my talents and contribution is appreciated
- Healthy life (means exercising, eating right, keeping my emotional state in check)
- Healthy relationships with my friends
- A healthy intimate relationship with the ‘one’
- New car
- Mac computer
- Video camera
- Dare2Diva to be read by millions
- Get on morning TV (yep I am a show pony)
- Lose weight for charity
- Hold a charity concert where I will perform something
- Trip to Melbourne
- Overseas holiday
Once I get it going, I will probably have a heap of things on it, but if I don’t ask, I won’t receive apparently!
I am off to my favourite wine town next weekend with Tongs and Mash and I have decided that is when I make my comeback. Almost ready to open the toolbox so who knows, I may start the dating thing again.
Oops, Diva Fell Off The Control Train
Well it has been quite a long time since my last post.
I have had a bit of an internal struggle. Not the bowel kind (plenty of fibre here people) but of the brain and heart variety.
Work has been getting to me quite a bit which has interfered with my sleep patterns. If I lived in New York, I would be a happy camper. I am wide awake at night but at 3 in the arvo I could quite easily have a good night’s sleep, only to find I am hyperactive again at 10pm. The work thing has really fucked with my head. Last year I was in control of my job and my boss was happy with that. This year, since fluff bunny has come on the scene, he likes the idea of being in control and managing so he has said that I have to go through him for everything, he will speak with the big wigs and I have to deal with the small fry. Stupidly, I let him take control and he let me down. Shock me. A guy taking control and letting me down. He now says that I need to step up. When I confronted him with the ‘you wouldn’t let me’ he said that he would do what he could. Fuck that. It is now time for me to take back control and I am trying to find the strength to do so.
The anniversary of my mum’s birthday has been and gone. I had plans. Pink ribbon tattoo, dinner with friends, but that all fell apart. I had to be strong when mum was dying for my family and ‘it’ and I had to be strong for the funeral, and I had to be strong to go back to work etc. I know I didn’t grieve but surely, if you haven’t grieved for a few years, the need to should be gone. You just move on right? Wrong. I fell apart. I couldn’t see friends, I couldn’t answer the phone, I couldn’t read a text message, I couldn’t answer an email, I couldn’t get through the day without crying. I was out of control.
What the fuck happened?
I have been questioning my value in life.
I have had a couple of awesome friends that knew what was going on and stuck by me. They didn’t run away. I couldn’t talk to them about what was happening but they accepted me anyway. I love them dearly, particularly my beautiful tongs!
After much thinking, I have realised that all my issues centre around control. I am happy when I am in total control. I control everything. Sadly, this is when I am most vulnerable. You can’t control everything. I cognitively know this but emotionally I am so immature. When I try to control everything, I lose control, I let other people unknowingly take it. When you give up some control, you actually have more control over it. OK, oxymoron I hear you say! Well, yes but let me take you to the world of BDSM (don’t ask). When a sub ‘submits’ to their Master/Mistress, there is an agreement on what they sub will and will not do. What they are comfortable with. The safe word is there to use. They are in control, even though it may seem they are at the hands of their Dom. The ultimate power play. A sub is truly free when they have given control to somebody else. They can take it back when they want. The Dom is the safest person in the world to the sub. They have the privilege of being keeper of the control and a true Dom respects that and never takes advantage.
Ok, now let me clarify. I have no desire to be flogged within an inch of my life, wear a collar and leash or lick a toilet bowl clean. I just need to find the same freedom without the pain or humiliation!
I have had a bit of an internal struggle. Not the bowel kind (plenty of fibre here people) but of the brain and heart variety.
Work has been getting to me quite a bit which has interfered with my sleep patterns. If I lived in New York, I would be a happy camper. I am wide awake at night but at 3 in the arvo I could quite easily have a good night’s sleep, only to find I am hyperactive again at 10pm. The work thing has really fucked with my head. Last year I was in control of my job and my boss was happy with that. This year, since fluff bunny has come on the scene, he likes the idea of being in control and managing so he has said that I have to go through him for everything, he will speak with the big wigs and I have to deal with the small fry. Stupidly, I let him take control and he let me down. Shock me. A guy taking control and letting me down. He now says that I need to step up. When I confronted him with the ‘you wouldn’t let me’ he said that he would do what he could. Fuck that. It is now time for me to take back control and I am trying to find the strength to do so.
The anniversary of my mum’s birthday has been and gone. I had plans. Pink ribbon tattoo, dinner with friends, but that all fell apart. I had to be strong when mum was dying for my family and ‘it’ and I had to be strong for the funeral, and I had to be strong to go back to work etc. I know I didn’t grieve but surely, if you haven’t grieved for a few years, the need to should be gone. You just move on right? Wrong. I fell apart. I couldn’t see friends, I couldn’t answer the phone, I couldn’t read a text message, I couldn’t answer an email, I couldn’t get through the day without crying. I was out of control.
What the fuck happened?
I have been questioning my value in life.
I have had a couple of awesome friends that knew what was going on and stuck by me. They didn’t run away. I couldn’t talk to them about what was happening but they accepted me anyway. I love them dearly, particularly my beautiful tongs!
After much thinking, I have realised that all my issues centre around control. I am happy when I am in total control. I control everything. Sadly, this is when I am most vulnerable. You can’t control everything. I cognitively know this but emotionally I am so immature. When I try to control everything, I lose control, I let other people unknowingly take it. When you give up some control, you actually have more control over it. OK, oxymoron I hear you say! Well, yes but let me take you to the world of BDSM (don’t ask). When a sub ‘submits’ to their Master/Mistress, there is an agreement on what they sub will and will not do. What they are comfortable with. The safe word is there to use. They are in control, even though it may seem they are at the hands of their Dom. The ultimate power play. A sub is truly free when they have given control to somebody else. They can take it back when they want. The Dom is the safest person in the world to the sub. They have the privilege of being keeper of the control and a true Dom respects that and never takes advantage.
Ok, now let me clarify. I have no desire to be flogged within an inch of my life, wear a collar and leash or lick a toilet bowl clean. I just need to find the same freedom without the pain or humiliation!
Disturbed - Original post date October 4 2009
All I care to remember about this dream is that I was invited to a party, not sure by whom, which happened to be on a huge property at the foot of the mountains in an old barn. Well, actually, when you walked in the old barn, the inside was very much like a grand palace with a lot of viewing rooms full of 4 poster beds (yes it has been a while). The other people at the party included Mash, Tongs, George Clooney, Ellen DeGeneres, Agro (the puppet co-host from an old Aussie kids tv show) and a crocodile called Phil.
I remember I was disturbed about 2 things. The fact that there didn’t appear to be a hand up the arse of the puppet (plenty of hands near arses elsewhere) and therefore nobody was there to provide the voice or move the mouth for it although Agro was very charming (??) and I couldn’t tell if Phil was a real crocodile or if he was a guy dressed as a crocodile.
Yes I am a disturbed individual but that is OK. I admit it so no problem.
I remember I was disturbed about 2 things. The fact that there didn’t appear to be a hand up the arse of the puppet (plenty of hands near arses elsewhere) and therefore nobody was there to provide the voice or move the mouth for it although Agro was very charming (??) and I couldn’t tell if Phil was a real crocodile or if he was a guy dressed as a crocodile.
Yes I am a disturbed individual but that is OK. I admit it so no problem.
A Question of Morals - Original post date July 7 2009
Morality is a funny thing
Diva, as you know, has had a couple (perhaps more than a couple) of random acts of....intimate liaisons..well not really random as in, they were planned, well.......of late anyway, but liaisons without commitment shall we say.
As you also know, I have been back in touch with some wonderful friends from my bible bashing Christian school days, and although none have even brought this up, my attempted Christian upbringing has had niggling thoughts in my head that have been questioning my morals.
This is a tough thing mainly because morality has been based on 'you are either a slut or you aren't'. I used to have this ‘NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE’ belief which lasted until I was 17, and if it had lasted I would be one very cranky, bitchy, frustrated virgin with so many frequent flyer points to the sex shop and more guilt than you can speak of that I would be the biggest donator of points to charity EVER in the history of the WORLD as I still wouldn't have had sex!!!!
What is morality? I thought I had better sort this out quickly. According to the Christians I am going to hell and when I look at a lot of the people going upstairs and the people going down stairs I know where I want to be. I just wanted to make sure it was in the good, fun section of hell rather than the bad.
After doing some research I have come to the conclusion that it means being in accordance with what is right and good. I pondered this for a while and I am sure I am going to the good, fun section of hell after all. Why? I am polite, considerate and concerned with not breaking the law too much, which is in accordance with what is right and good and as such, will continue the intimate liaisons without commitment until I find somebody worth committing to or am too bloody tired to care.
How did I come to this conclusion?
1)I always say please – ‘Please Sir/Mistress, may I have some more!’
2)I always say thank you and give praise when due – Thank you sweetheart, you were awesome.
3)I obey the red, orange and green lights
4)I praise the almighty – Oh God....Oh God!
5)I always have such liaisons with consenting adults, no matter how many are involved at the one time and all are treated equally. No discrimination here.
6)If ‘love lollies’ were to be involved they would be eaten straight away, responsibly, so no one would get arrested and at least 1 in the group was sober! Responsible. I have never believed in the 'never screw screwed' philosophy.
See I am in accordance of what is right and good in my book so I am moral.
Bring it on sunshine!
Diva, as you know, has had a couple (perhaps more than a couple) of random acts of....intimate liaisons..well not really random as in, they were planned, well.......of late anyway, but liaisons without commitment shall we say.
As you also know, I have been back in touch with some wonderful friends from my bible bashing Christian school days, and although none have even brought this up, my attempted Christian upbringing has had niggling thoughts in my head that have been questioning my morals.
This is a tough thing mainly because morality has been based on 'you are either a slut or you aren't'. I used to have this ‘NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE’ belief which lasted until I was 17, and if it had lasted I would be one very cranky, bitchy, frustrated virgin with so many frequent flyer points to the sex shop and more guilt than you can speak of that I would be the biggest donator of points to charity EVER in the history of the WORLD as I still wouldn't have had sex!!!!
What is morality? I thought I had better sort this out quickly. According to the Christians I am going to hell and when I look at a lot of the people going upstairs and the people going down stairs I know where I want to be. I just wanted to make sure it was in the good, fun section of hell rather than the bad.
After doing some research I have come to the conclusion that it means being in accordance with what is right and good. I pondered this for a while and I am sure I am going to the good, fun section of hell after all. Why? I am polite, considerate and concerned with not breaking the law too much, which is in accordance with what is right and good and as such, will continue the intimate liaisons without commitment until I find somebody worth committing to or am too bloody tired to care.
How did I come to this conclusion?
1)I always say please – ‘Please Sir/Mistress, may I have some more!’
2)I always say thank you and give praise when due – Thank you sweetheart, you were awesome.
3)I obey the red, orange and green lights
4)I praise the almighty – Oh God....Oh God!
5)I always have such liaisons with consenting adults, no matter how many are involved at the one time and all are treated equally. No discrimination here.
6)If ‘love lollies’ were to be involved they would be eaten straight away, responsibly, so no one would get arrested and at least 1 in the group was sober! Responsible. I have never believed in the 'never screw screwed' philosophy.
See I am in accordance of what is right and good in my book so I am moral.
Bring it on sunshine!
Facebook - Original post date July 6 2009
At the beginning of my current journey, I wasn’t really interested in facebook. I thought it was for the young ones, but then I decided to give it a try and I am glad I did. I am back in contact with some awesome people and have met others who are great FB friends.
I have found my year 9 and 10 best friend who kept me somewhat sane from what were quite horrid times. I wasn’t such a good girl and after the nuns asked me to leave, my parents, in their misguided way to make me good as gold, sent me to what we shall call a co-ed bible bashing Christian school. Not fond memories because I just didn’t fit in and being such a small school, bitching amongst the girls seemed to be 10 times worse than in an all girl catholic school with 130 kids in the year. The new school was lucky to have that in the whole year. Tongs (as she shall be called thanks to facebook) and I caught up and it was like we hadn’t had the 20 odd yrs apart. Another friend called Mash (yes FB again) was back in Tongs life so the 2 of us caught up over dinner and had a great time. It was decided we would go and see yet another friend (Corkscrew) who lived 6hrs away. This only meant one thing..........ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!!
This road trip was awesome. We nearly lost our way because Tongs was giving both wrong and right directions while Mash was listening only to the wrong ones. We realised that Tongs has a different left to the rest of us and I just kept quiet and laughed. Ok, I didn’t keep quiet because we got talking about ‘rabbits’ and Mash got so distracted that we missed another turn and I m sure we were in a ditch at one point. Lots of drinking, eating, talking, laughing, catching up was done and a great time was had by all. Apart from the drive home. I ended up with a bit of a lurgy and the car ended up being a petri dish of germs, but I love Tongs and Mash so much that I would share anything with them (well, within reason).
Talking of sharing with Mash and Tongs, we are going on a rabbit hunt. YES. How funny is that? Mash says he needs to get some stuff (love to see what he buys hehehe).
It has been great being back in touch with Tongs again. She is a top chick and a great friend. We chat either via facebook or phone at least 5 days a week...lol. I guess some things never change. Tongs and I have decided that if both of us are single by the time she is 40 we will marry (Yes we will have to fly to Iowa USA but that is fine), although with Mash calling me sexy, we may have to move to the US and join one of those polygamist sects so we can all be married. I may not be able to chose.
I am back in touch with the dodger. I was best friends with his sister in primary school for a while and then caught back up with them at the high school. Another gorgeous young man. So proud of him. He has a new ‘friend’ which was can call mylama (her daughter calls Dodges daughter mylama which is so cute). We ALSO went to school with her and she is lovely. I hope things work out for both of them.
I am so lucky to have amazing people in my life. I don’t need the toxicity of people that don’t think I am thin enough, smart enough, rich enough, classy enough, pretty enough, sexy enough. I am who I am and I bloody like who I am. OK, sometimes the reflection first thing in the morning is a bit much to handle but apart from that, I am doing alright indeed!
I have found my year 9 and 10 best friend who kept me somewhat sane from what were quite horrid times. I wasn’t such a good girl and after the nuns asked me to leave, my parents, in their misguided way to make me good as gold, sent me to what we shall call a co-ed bible bashing Christian school. Not fond memories because I just didn’t fit in and being such a small school, bitching amongst the girls seemed to be 10 times worse than in an all girl catholic school with 130 kids in the year. The new school was lucky to have that in the whole year. Tongs (as she shall be called thanks to facebook) and I caught up and it was like we hadn’t had the 20 odd yrs apart. Another friend called Mash (yes FB again) was back in Tongs life so the 2 of us caught up over dinner and had a great time. It was decided we would go and see yet another friend (Corkscrew) who lived 6hrs away. This only meant one thing..........ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!!
This road trip was awesome. We nearly lost our way because Tongs was giving both wrong and right directions while Mash was listening only to the wrong ones. We realised that Tongs has a different left to the rest of us and I just kept quiet and laughed. Ok, I didn’t keep quiet because we got talking about ‘rabbits’ and Mash got so distracted that we missed another turn and I m sure we were in a ditch at one point. Lots of drinking, eating, talking, laughing, catching up was done and a great time was had by all. Apart from the drive home. I ended up with a bit of a lurgy and the car ended up being a petri dish of germs, but I love Tongs and Mash so much that I would share anything with them (well, within reason).
Talking of sharing with Mash and Tongs, we are going on a rabbit hunt. YES. How funny is that? Mash says he needs to get some stuff (love to see what he buys hehehe).
It has been great being back in touch with Tongs again. She is a top chick and a great friend. We chat either via facebook or phone at least 5 days a week...lol. I guess some things never change. Tongs and I have decided that if both of us are single by the time she is 40 we will marry (Yes we will have to fly to Iowa USA but that is fine), although with Mash calling me sexy, we may have to move to the US and join one of those polygamist sects so we can all be married. I may not be able to chose.
I am back in touch with the dodger. I was best friends with his sister in primary school for a while and then caught back up with them at the high school. Another gorgeous young man. So proud of him. He has a new ‘friend’ which was can call mylama (her daughter calls Dodges daughter mylama which is so cute). We ALSO went to school with her and she is lovely. I hope things work out for both of them.
I am so lucky to have amazing people in my life. I don’t need the toxicity of people that don’t think I am thin enough, smart enough, rich enough, classy enough, pretty enough, sexy enough. I am who I am and I bloody like who I am. OK, sometimes the reflection first thing in the morning is a bit much to handle but apart from that, I am doing alright indeed!
I'm Alive - Original post date July 5 2009
Ok, I am sorry. I have been offline for a while. Lack of inspiration, lack of iron in blood, lack of a lot of things however, I do have some reports on a trip to Melbourne, which may have included some of the following:
Apologizing to a skinny guy on a very full plane. Apology went something like ‘I am sorry you drew the short straw. Yes you get to be squashed by the fat chick. However, I am cute, funny and it is only for an hour, and I can shut up for the whole trip if required. Oh, and I don’t eat people.’
Staying at Crown Promenade with Foxy.
Dinner
Drinking cocktails, wine, and then more cocktails before drinking shots off the bar.
Kissing a lesbian man and wanting to eat a man we shall call Cadbury, except he was taken.
Getting high fived for being bi by Cadbury man.
Kissing lesbian man again
Apologising to Indian Taxi Driver about drunken front passenger (ok, I was also drunk)
Running across a main road in Melbourne, Drunk, in shoes unsuitable to run in.
Drinking more in Fed square
Going to a strip club, and having a lap dance
Sitting in a fountain in Crown Casino and not getting kicked out
Having boobs perved on
Perving on boobs
Getting to room
All, some or none of this may or may not have happened to me, Foxy, Bruce, Cadbury, Lesbian Man, Papa D or Smorgos all in the one night, but all I can say is that I am too old for such shenanigans and I thought I was dying when I woke up. Thank god for nurofen, water powerade and coffee!
Apologizing to a skinny guy on a very full plane. Apology went something like ‘I am sorry you drew the short straw. Yes you get to be squashed by the fat chick. However, I am cute, funny and it is only for an hour, and I can shut up for the whole trip if required. Oh, and I don’t eat people.’
Staying at Crown Promenade with Foxy.
Dinner
Drinking cocktails, wine, and then more cocktails before drinking shots off the bar.
Kissing a lesbian man and wanting to eat a man we shall call Cadbury, except he was taken.
Getting high fived for being bi by Cadbury man.
Kissing lesbian man again
Apologising to Indian Taxi Driver about drunken front passenger (ok, I was also drunk)
Running across a main road in Melbourne, Drunk, in shoes unsuitable to run in.
Drinking more in Fed square
Going to a strip club, and having a lap dance
Sitting in a fountain in Crown Casino and not getting kicked out
Having boobs perved on
Perving on boobs
Getting to room
All, some or none of this may or may not have happened to me, Foxy, Bruce, Cadbury, Lesbian Man, Papa D or Smorgos all in the one night, but all I can say is that I am too old for such shenanigans and I thought I was dying when I woke up. Thank god for nurofen, water powerade and coffee!
Brick Wall Going Cheap - Original post date March 9 2009
Ever wake up feeling great and think, today is going to be awesome only to have a brick wall hit you repeatedly in the head the minute you walk in the door at work? Welcome to my world.
Last week was quite crappy. I have been feeling somewhat threatened, which is ridiculous, by the little fluff bunny, and worried that she is being groomed to take over when they kick me out. Not so stupid really. Quite possible, but I very rarely feel threatened. I know I am a control freak, and have a tendency to speak my mind, often without thinking, but I do a bloody good job, even if nobody else recognises it. I am quite happy to pat myself on the back while people pass me by. Self satisfaction in all its forms is a good thing.
Today fluff bunny pissed me off no end. Apparently by being here for 5 mins she is ready to ‘take over’ and bulldoze everyone. She has pissed off a supplier who I consider a great guy, a bit of a hottie (but not as great or as hot as Bruce) and he doesn’t want to have to deal with her again. He said she was rude, argumentative and acted like she wanted him to fail so she looked better. She doesn’t realise that him and I worked really well together to not only help one another, but to do the best for the business. Everyone has been happy. Now by being rude she has taken a giant leap backwards. People like dealing with me because although I am the customer, I work with people and I reap the benefits.
Apart from pissing this guy off, she has pissed off a number of staff as well as a whole division. She is sprouting that people aren’t doing the right thing because they haven’t been trained properly. She KNOWS I gave the training. I have been training people all year and have worked with people to ensure things are as easy as possible whilst still being compliant. I am the best trainer I know and people have told me so. The reason some people don’t do the right thing is because either they are too bloody lazy, and with no actual consequence, why would you do the right thing, or because we have made alternative versions of what is right. Fuck me. Who the hell is she? I have more experience and expertise in my little finger than she has in her whole body and more professionalism than she could even begin to have a clue about. The way she speaks to people over the phone is downright rude most of the time and I can’t listen to another word of it.
I have to be thankful for Lily Allen’s song ‘F**K You’. It has been on a loop all day, and yes for her benefit and for mine because if it weren’t for the chuckle this song gives me, I would have hurt her big time today.
I feel like every day is just another version of the previous and I just carry around a well used brick wall and end up head butting it numerous times a day. Fuck me on a Sunday in the Snow. I have another day of it tomorrow.
Last week was quite crappy. I have been feeling somewhat threatened, which is ridiculous, by the little fluff bunny, and worried that she is being groomed to take over when they kick me out. Not so stupid really. Quite possible, but I very rarely feel threatened. I know I am a control freak, and have a tendency to speak my mind, often without thinking, but I do a bloody good job, even if nobody else recognises it. I am quite happy to pat myself on the back while people pass me by. Self satisfaction in all its forms is a good thing.
Today fluff bunny pissed me off no end. Apparently by being here for 5 mins she is ready to ‘take over’ and bulldoze everyone. She has pissed off a supplier who I consider a great guy, a bit of a hottie (but not as great or as hot as Bruce) and he doesn’t want to have to deal with her again. He said she was rude, argumentative and acted like she wanted him to fail so she looked better. She doesn’t realise that him and I worked really well together to not only help one another, but to do the best for the business. Everyone has been happy. Now by being rude she has taken a giant leap backwards. People like dealing with me because although I am the customer, I work with people and I reap the benefits.
Apart from pissing this guy off, she has pissed off a number of staff as well as a whole division. She is sprouting that people aren’t doing the right thing because they haven’t been trained properly. She KNOWS I gave the training. I have been training people all year and have worked with people to ensure things are as easy as possible whilst still being compliant. I am the best trainer I know and people have told me so. The reason some people don’t do the right thing is because either they are too bloody lazy, and with no actual consequence, why would you do the right thing, or because we have made alternative versions of what is right. Fuck me. Who the hell is she? I have more experience and expertise in my little finger than she has in her whole body and more professionalism than she could even begin to have a clue about. The way she speaks to people over the phone is downright rude most of the time and I can’t listen to another word of it.
I have to be thankful for Lily Allen’s song ‘F**K You’. It has been on a loop all day, and yes for her benefit and for mine because if it weren’t for the chuckle this song gives me, I would have hurt her big time today.
I feel like every day is just another version of the previous and I just carry around a well used brick wall and end up head butting it numerous times a day. Fuck me on a Sunday in the Snow. I have another day of it tomorrow.
Another Year Older And I Have Some Of The Best Friends In The World - Original post date March 8 2009
Diva had a birthday. Every birthday since my 30th has been totally crap. I spent my 30th depressed, in bed watching sad movies, eating tim tams and getting drunk. Not much else happened. Then I met ‘it’ and every time my birthday came around he determined we either didn’t have enough money or he hurt himself or had gout and couldn’t take me for dinner, a picnic etc. Mind you, every year for ‘its’ birthday we did something special such as he booked us a trip to tassie, the mountains, we went to a really nice restaurant, had time with friends etc.
This year, I got the feeling something was going on. Foxy asked if she could take me for dinner but wouldn’t let me know where. Not strange in itself, as it is something foxy would do, but I got a feeling something else was going on.
The big day arrived, and high tower left a whole happy birthday song on my voice message, foxy cleared her throat and sang me the most ‘beautiful’ version of the song and wonder chick sang 2 versions because others had beaten her to it the first time round. Sweet.
Foxy and Beauty gave me a gorgeous bracelet and now Thomas Sabo is my favorite jewelry designer, and of course, hugs all round.
Now Foxy told me which suburb we were going to and I guessed that Bruce at least was joining us. Then Bruce called and wished me happy birthday and was so ‘subtle’ asking what I was doing that night. I couldn’t let him know I knew something was going on of course. I then heard again from Wonder chick that Smorgos was in town so I knew it would be 5 of us for dinner.
I had to drive and ‘follow’ Foxy because I live in the sticks, but I didn’t mention to her that I had an extreme fear of city traffic, tunnels, bridges, going places I haven’t been to before and not planning a trip with a map etc. I thought I would have to stop my car going through a tunnel because I was hyperventilating so badly I thought I would pass out. Anyway, we got there and all I can say is thank god I had good make up on because it would have run everywhere!
We met up with the other 3 and was given a beautiful bunch of flowers from BSWC and Papa D who was not with us but also called to send wishes and he sent me a bottle of pink Moet. More hugs all round. Very very nice indeed. Dinner was great. Carnivore heaven, mind you, the cinnamon pineapple was to die for. I honestly can’t remember what we talked about, but I know it involved a lot of laughing, checking out arses, getting the Spanish boy to talk as often as he could, mentioning the people on the table to the left of us weren’t good looking enough to be in our pics, but the people on the other table weren’t bad at all.
We went for a walk along the beach. Great to chat whilst walking. My flowers were carried alternatively between Bruce and Smorgos. They could never be crowned Miss Hot Stuff. They treated those flowers like a bag of concrete, but they survived.
Side Bar…..During our walk I have come to the conclusion that Bruce is smitten with his new chick. Of course, nobody will ever be good enough for him as far as I am concerned but that is because I have decided to adopt him and wear the protective big sister hat, but if he is happy, I am happy. Ecstatic actually (I have to live vicariously through others), and the picture I have seen give me the impression she is very nice and she is definitely reasonably good looking (actually she is gorgeous). On the other hand, just wait for the curses to be sent should he get hurt.
To finish the night, gelato, coffee and more chatting until we got kicked out.
Thanks to Foxy, Wonder Chick, Smorgos, Bruce and a special mention to Papa D. I love you guys. Thanks for an amazing evening. Memories to treasure forever.
This year, I got the feeling something was going on. Foxy asked if she could take me for dinner but wouldn’t let me know where. Not strange in itself, as it is something foxy would do, but I got a feeling something else was going on.
The big day arrived, and high tower left a whole happy birthday song on my voice message, foxy cleared her throat and sang me the most ‘beautiful’ version of the song and wonder chick sang 2 versions because others had beaten her to it the first time round. Sweet.
Foxy and Beauty gave me a gorgeous bracelet and now Thomas Sabo is my favorite jewelry designer, and of course, hugs all round.
Now Foxy told me which suburb we were going to and I guessed that Bruce at least was joining us. Then Bruce called and wished me happy birthday and was so ‘subtle’ asking what I was doing that night. I couldn’t let him know I knew something was going on of course. I then heard again from Wonder chick that Smorgos was in town so I knew it would be 5 of us for dinner.
I had to drive and ‘follow’ Foxy because I live in the sticks, but I didn’t mention to her that I had an extreme fear of city traffic, tunnels, bridges, going places I haven’t been to before and not planning a trip with a map etc. I thought I would have to stop my car going through a tunnel because I was hyperventilating so badly I thought I would pass out. Anyway, we got there and all I can say is thank god I had good make up on because it would have run everywhere!
We met up with the other 3 and was given a beautiful bunch of flowers from BSWC and Papa D who was not with us but also called to send wishes and he sent me a bottle of pink Moet. More hugs all round. Very very nice indeed. Dinner was great. Carnivore heaven, mind you, the cinnamon pineapple was to die for. I honestly can’t remember what we talked about, but I know it involved a lot of laughing, checking out arses, getting the Spanish boy to talk as often as he could, mentioning the people on the table to the left of us weren’t good looking enough to be in our pics, but the people on the other table weren’t bad at all.
We went for a walk along the beach. Great to chat whilst walking. My flowers were carried alternatively between Bruce and Smorgos. They could never be crowned Miss Hot Stuff. They treated those flowers like a bag of concrete, but they survived.
Side Bar…..During our walk I have come to the conclusion that Bruce is smitten with his new chick. Of course, nobody will ever be good enough for him as far as I am concerned but that is because I have decided to adopt him and wear the protective big sister hat, but if he is happy, I am happy. Ecstatic actually (I have to live vicariously through others), and the picture I have seen give me the impression she is very nice and she is definitely reasonably good looking (actually she is gorgeous). On the other hand, just wait for the curses to be sent should he get hurt.
To finish the night, gelato, coffee and more chatting until we got kicked out.
Thanks to Foxy, Wonder Chick, Smorgos, Bruce and a special mention to Papa D. I love you guys. Thanks for an amazing evening. Memories to treasure forever.
Tools, Tools, Tools In The Box - Original post date February 18 2009
There are some tools that DIVA just can’t live without. Nail file, hair straightener, vibrator, and then there are those tools that are not even good enough to be in your (tool) box and forgotten.
I am afraid I have to announce that Math Man is one of those tools to be well and truly forgotten.
We had an amazing night together just before Christmas. We laughed, talked, had fun, he gave me a massage, we had fun, he played with my hair, we had fun, and he cuddled up and went to sleep. I actually thought that it was too good to be true, yet, if it was true, I was totally falling. It was the best night we had spent together.
He then spent Christmas with his family which I expected and he contacted me via email (not good) that he would contact me the following week, which would have been the week after new years. He didn’t. He contacted me through messenger the last week in Jan.
It was around 8 weeks since we had seen one another. I didn’t make myself immediately available but said I could make it around 8 the next day. I felt odd about going. I couldn’t explain it then, I just kept saying, what am I doing. Anyway, I got there around 8, had a quick chat, fast forward 2 hours, and when I got back from the bathroom, he said ‘you don’t have to stay. I have to get up early in the morning’. I thought, here goes. I simply said that I get up early anyway, but if you want me to go, just say so. He said ‘I will walk you to your car’. I said don’t bother, the only thing you haven’t done is give me my envelope.
What is great for me is that I am not heartbroken. I feel foolish for not listening to my inner voice. The one that isn’t psychotic or coming from space, but that intuition that we all have and very rarely listen to. I feel foolish because I didn’t take notice of the hesitation, the odd feeling that I had. I just went with what my heart and part of my head wanted. I wanted the night to be fantastic. I wanted this to mean that we had something special, I wanted to feel special and yet, I wasn’t devastated. I guess that angel on my shoulder was thinking ‘if she isn’t going to listen to me, I can at least prepare her for the let down’.
I am really over the guys that just want sex and think that I would be fine with it. I am not a fucking prostitute and I don’t shag and run. I expect more for myself. I deserve more than that. I want a relationship. I know that doesn’t happen straight away, but you can start with a friendship. I love sex and don’t expect to wait until I am in love, Jesus, I would still be a virgin if I lived by that rule, but I do expect that a bond is there, a friendship that can grow into a relationship.
Now, let me just state for the record that I don’t want to shag any of my current friends, well......... no I don’t want to. I love you all but I can assure you, you are safe. Sorry to disappoint! Remember this though. I am always up for a snog, purely for photographic or artistic expression, rebellion or just to give advice on technique....I am sooooo hilarious.
I have not given up completely on ever having a relationship, however, I am happy to get friendship, and hugs from my awesome friends, companionship from a poodle, snogs from random strangers and ‘satisfaction’ from a tool that you can turn on and off when and if you feel like it.
I am afraid I have to announce that Math Man is one of those tools to be well and truly forgotten.
We had an amazing night together just before Christmas. We laughed, talked, had fun, he gave me a massage, we had fun, he played with my hair, we had fun, and he cuddled up and went to sleep. I actually thought that it was too good to be true, yet, if it was true, I was totally falling. It was the best night we had spent together.
He then spent Christmas with his family which I expected and he contacted me via email (not good) that he would contact me the following week, which would have been the week after new years. He didn’t. He contacted me through messenger the last week in Jan.
It was around 8 weeks since we had seen one another. I didn’t make myself immediately available but said I could make it around 8 the next day. I felt odd about going. I couldn’t explain it then, I just kept saying, what am I doing. Anyway, I got there around 8, had a quick chat, fast forward 2 hours, and when I got back from the bathroom, he said ‘you don’t have to stay. I have to get up early in the morning’. I thought, here goes. I simply said that I get up early anyway, but if you want me to go, just say so. He said ‘I will walk you to your car’. I said don’t bother, the only thing you haven’t done is give me my envelope.
What is great for me is that I am not heartbroken. I feel foolish for not listening to my inner voice. The one that isn’t psychotic or coming from space, but that intuition that we all have and very rarely listen to. I feel foolish because I didn’t take notice of the hesitation, the odd feeling that I had. I just went with what my heart and part of my head wanted. I wanted the night to be fantastic. I wanted this to mean that we had something special, I wanted to feel special and yet, I wasn’t devastated. I guess that angel on my shoulder was thinking ‘if she isn’t going to listen to me, I can at least prepare her for the let down’.
I am really over the guys that just want sex and think that I would be fine with it. I am not a fucking prostitute and I don’t shag and run. I expect more for myself. I deserve more than that. I want a relationship. I know that doesn’t happen straight away, but you can start with a friendship. I love sex and don’t expect to wait until I am in love, Jesus, I would still be a virgin if I lived by that rule, but I do expect that a bond is there, a friendship that can grow into a relationship.
Now, let me just state for the record that I don’t want to shag any of my current friends, well......... no I don’t want to. I love you all but I can assure you, you are safe. Sorry to disappoint! Remember this though. I am always up for a snog, purely for photographic or artistic expression, rebellion or just to give advice on technique....I am sooooo hilarious.
I have not given up completely on ever having a relationship, however, I am happy to get friendship, and hugs from my awesome friends, companionship from a poodle, snogs from random strangers and ‘satisfaction’ from a tool that you can turn on and off when and if you feel like it.
For The Love Of..Part Deux - Original post date February 18 2009
I had to lower my standards and catch a train into the city for a work shop today and then back by train to see my dentist because I broke a tooth. ‘How exciting’ I hear you say. I know I was really thrilled by this joyous day, particularly, when in February, I have to wear my woollen winter coat and use my umbrella in an attempt to keep part of me dry. It wasn’t until I got back on the train to go home (it was sunny, hot and humid by this stage) that I sat down and my 'picture' was taken. Sitting opposite me was a girl with such a short skirt on that I could tell she wasn’t wearing knickers. If the skirt wasn’t short enough, when she sat down directly opposite me, she had her legs open and ‘smile’. Fuck me. Firstly, don’t skimp on the material, for god’s sake. Secondly, wear some knickers you dirty slut and finally, didn’t your mother teach you to sit with your legs closed and delicately placed on the side?
Not sure what I have done to deserve the short skirt, or ‘arse belt’, so called because it sits on your arse but doesn’t actually go past it, attack. Short skirts have never really been my thing, except on Billy Piper, as I am partial to a bit of butch when it comes to the XX chromosomal owner.
Let me just state for the record that the work shop was an inspiration. Well, an inspiration for the eyes, heart, brain and other bits! 2 of the presenters were bloody hot, 1 in particular, and the other was good to look at and had a mighty cheeky personality, intelligence, and I think he could be a bit of a wild one! The work shop was put on by a company that helps people in my position (don’t get me started here) achieve (don’t write orgasm) their business objectives. My boss also attended and he mentioned to the hotties whilst we were talking (OK whilst I was wondering if my hair that had been rained on looked ok and if I had mascara running down my face, and trying to have intelligent, yet funny, conversational moments) my boss mentioned that I, the Diva, might be in contact with them, aka Hotties, to assist in running an optimisation project. Now, I could have been subtle in my approach, but, subtlety has never been a strong suit of mine. I blurted that I would most definitely be calling them and that the three of us would be a great team and could definitely make an impact!!!!!!!!! I nearly died when it fell out of my mouth, but then again, there is nothing wrong with being blunt. Just ask the hot Foxy. You can be as subtle as a sledge hammer and it doesn’t hit home. HA! From many little seeds, grows one great big mother of a tree. Just ask Jack.
Not sure what I have done to deserve the short skirt, or ‘arse belt’, so called because it sits on your arse but doesn’t actually go past it, attack. Short skirts have never really been my thing, except on Billy Piper, as I am partial to a bit of butch when it comes to the XX chromosomal owner.
Let me just state for the record that the work shop was an inspiration. Well, an inspiration for the eyes, heart, brain and other bits! 2 of the presenters were bloody hot, 1 in particular, and the other was good to look at and had a mighty cheeky personality, intelligence, and I think he could be a bit of a wild one! The work shop was put on by a company that helps people in my position (don’t get me started here) achieve (don’t write orgasm) their business objectives. My boss also attended and he mentioned to the hotties whilst we were talking (OK whilst I was wondering if my hair that had been rained on looked ok and if I had mascara running down my face, and trying to have intelligent, yet funny, conversational moments) my boss mentioned that I, the Diva, might be in contact with them, aka Hotties, to assist in running an optimisation project. Now, I could have been subtle in my approach, but, subtlety has never been a strong suit of mine. I blurted that I would most definitely be calling them and that the three of us would be a great team and could definitely make an impact!!!!!!!!! I nearly died when it fell out of my mouth, but then again, there is nothing wrong with being blunt. Just ask the hot Foxy. You can be as subtle as a sledge hammer and it doesn’t hit home. HA! From many little seeds, grows one great big mother of a tree. Just ask Jack.
Boobs And Bollywood And Slowly Retrieved Memories
Work Christmas party was a hoot. I was on really strong prescription meds for allergies, and 1 champagne sent me over the edge so I couldn’t feel my lips for most of the night. I actually danced. This black duck don’t dance, but she actually was shaking her groove thang! I did my boob shimmy A LOT and when the bollywood music started, I did the chicken or beef dance. I am practicing both moves so they are perfected for my next outing. I actually remember pressing my boobs up against the window of the function centre which looked out onto the harbour and also against the window of the bus going home, in front of a number of staff members. I was totally obsessed with boobs that night. Shame I didn’t grope any and mine didn’t get any action. I did grab wonder chicks arse and possibly 1 or 2 boys when we got into a dance huddle. I figured that since body bits were going everywhere, it was a perfect opportunity to cop a feel without being done for harassment, or obvious awkward moments the following day. Funny thing is that I am still remembering bits and pieces and yet I pulled up really well the next day with 3 hours sleep!
Video's Can Be... - Original post date February 15 2009
Diva is saving for a video camera. Not to shoot DIVA porn and put it up on X tube or whatever they call it. I want to explore my world and keep a video diary. I want to people watch and give a commentary. People watching is so much fun and can uncover some hilarious moments. It can also uncover some amazing moments of love, joy, cruelty, humiliation, humanity, peace, and I really want to uncover that in my world.
I think that by doing this, I will find inspiration for my painting which has to be completed in 2 yrs time.
I think that by doing this, I will find inspiration for my painting which has to be completed in 2 yrs time.
For The Love Of....... - Original post date February 15 2009
Diva went shopping the other night, as Diva's do, and came across a very scary sight. Without going into too much detail, if you plan on going up an escalator, for the love of all things optical, please either wear a longer skirt or underwear! Seriously, I think that image is permanently burnt on my retina.
Speaking of underwear, I have been wondering about the suck in fat body suit things like SPANKS (love that name. I want to own a pair simply so I can say I have been SPANKED!) What happens to all the fat? It has to go somewhere. They say they can make you 2 dress sizes smaller, but does that mean that I will end up going from a DD to a GGG cup size or does it mean I will have 6 tits? I really need to know where it all goes because the minute you take them off, the fat doesn’t go away. I imagine the fat would start to blob out much like lava from a volcano.
I do need to go underwear shopping though. I have become very ‘single’ in my underwear purchases. I have my comfy stuff, my practical stuff, but where is my seriously hot stuff??? There is other shopping that needs to be done, since it does look like I will be single for a while but not today.
Get your minds out of the gutter. I am talking about a new electric blanket ready for the cooler weather. Without a warm bod to heat things up, an electric blanket is the next best thing, along with Bearnard, my antique look teddy!
But now that I think about shopping............
Speaking of underwear, I have been wondering about the suck in fat body suit things like SPANKS (love that name. I want to own a pair simply so I can say I have been SPANKED!) What happens to all the fat? It has to go somewhere. They say they can make you 2 dress sizes smaller, but does that mean that I will end up going from a DD to a GGG cup size or does it mean I will have 6 tits? I really need to know where it all goes because the minute you take them off, the fat doesn’t go away. I imagine the fat would start to blob out much like lava from a volcano.
I do need to go underwear shopping though. I have become very ‘single’ in my underwear purchases. I have my comfy stuff, my practical stuff, but where is my seriously hot stuff??? There is other shopping that needs to be done, since it does look like I will be single for a while but not today.
Get your minds out of the gutter. I am talking about a new electric blanket ready for the cooler weather. Without a warm bod to heat things up, an electric blanket is the next best thing, along with Bearnard, my antique look teddy!
But now that I think about shopping............
I'm Back - Original post date February 7 2009
I am so happy to be back writing again. I have missed you all.
I have to apologise to you all for not being on here. Obviously, I didn’t fall off the planet, but my pc did. I had input errors (story of my life but I will talk about that later) and my monitor would turn off. My wonderful nephew got it working, and when I got it home, it came up with the same problem. It went to the Dr today. There was nothing wrong with it. Apparently it happens. Bull shit. I haven’t gone without a pc for almost 4 months for there not to be anything wrong with it. Anyway, I got it home and the bloody thing is working no problems. The bloody bastard PC.
A lot has happened since I last wrote. I nearly killed fuck stick. Honestly. He was so stressed that he had to leave on an emergency flight back home to have tests in hospital. My boss was OS for work and he stupidly left me alone to deal with FS. I messaged him and said that if I didn’t work from home the following day I would kill him, to which boss man said do whatever you have to, to get through. It was a Monday and after almost 12 weeks training, every time I got up to pee, go to a meeting, make a cuppa he would say, sorry, but I have confusion. The last thing I said to him before I took my laptop and handbag was, ‘you don’t have time for confusion, I don’t have time for confusion, just bloody do it’. I stormed out of the office. I worked from home the next day and got an email from his team leader to say he was sick and unable to come in. I got to work the next day to find out he was extremely ill and no longer with the program. Good grief. We ended up being able to get a local hire but not until Jan 09, so I was doing his role plus mine. Ended up nearly breaking the loo door at work with a hissy fit, and ended up getting wonder chick as a temp for a month.
This brings me to another point. Blonde and Wonder Chick left me. Blonde has a great job serving (not servicing) our community and Wonder Chick works with Bruce. Brilliant.
Bruce, Wonder Chick, renamed Papa D (DD) and Smorgos (cute, married, Swedish man, but not as hot as Bruce of course!) and I went to my ‘tied for first’ favourite wine region and had a total blast. Lots of food, WINE, laughs, food, WINE, laughs and brilliant times, awesome in fact. One memory I will treasure.
It is great to be able to have work friends that when you need to, you can be professional, unbiased, and business like, and then be able to turn a switch and be friends.
I have a new friend, Foxy. One of the most amazing chicks on the planet. Everything about her is full on and fabulous. As much as my job drives me nuts, it has introduced me to some wonderful people.
I will update you next entry on my love life, or lack thereof, plus other interesting insights into my life as a DIVA.
I have to apologise to you all for not being on here. Obviously, I didn’t fall off the planet, but my pc did. I had input errors (story of my life but I will talk about that later) and my monitor would turn off. My wonderful nephew got it working, and when I got it home, it came up with the same problem. It went to the Dr today. There was nothing wrong with it. Apparently it happens. Bull shit. I haven’t gone without a pc for almost 4 months for there not to be anything wrong with it. Anyway, I got it home and the bloody thing is working no problems. The bloody bastard PC.
A lot has happened since I last wrote. I nearly killed fuck stick. Honestly. He was so stressed that he had to leave on an emergency flight back home to have tests in hospital. My boss was OS for work and he stupidly left me alone to deal with FS. I messaged him and said that if I didn’t work from home the following day I would kill him, to which boss man said do whatever you have to, to get through. It was a Monday and after almost 12 weeks training, every time I got up to pee, go to a meeting, make a cuppa he would say, sorry, but I have confusion. The last thing I said to him before I took my laptop and handbag was, ‘you don’t have time for confusion, I don’t have time for confusion, just bloody do it’. I stormed out of the office. I worked from home the next day and got an email from his team leader to say he was sick and unable to come in. I got to work the next day to find out he was extremely ill and no longer with the program. Good grief. We ended up being able to get a local hire but not until Jan 09, so I was doing his role plus mine. Ended up nearly breaking the loo door at work with a hissy fit, and ended up getting wonder chick as a temp for a month.
This brings me to another point. Blonde and Wonder Chick left me. Blonde has a great job serving (not servicing) our community and Wonder Chick works with Bruce. Brilliant.
Bruce, Wonder Chick, renamed Papa D (DD) and Smorgos (cute, married, Swedish man, but not as hot as Bruce of course!) and I went to my ‘tied for first’ favourite wine region and had a total blast. Lots of food, WINE, laughs, food, WINE, laughs and brilliant times, awesome in fact. One memory I will treasure.
It is great to be able to have work friends that when you need to, you can be professional, unbiased, and business like, and then be able to turn a switch and be friends.
I have a new friend, Foxy. One of the most amazing chicks on the planet. Everything about her is full on and fabulous. As much as my job drives me nuts, it has introduced me to some wonderful people.
I will update you next entry on my love life, or lack thereof, plus other interesting insights into my life as a DIVA.
Tick, Tick - Original post date October 19 2008
Diva was contacted by a free to air TV Station to do a news interview on my former life as a super model......ok.....more like my former life as a theme park host. I loved my time there and I was more than happy to do the interview.
Great news guy, great cameraman, and I had a good time. I can tick off 15 secs of fame now. I should get around 5secs from this thing and then I had the story from the hospital, which I am told happened on one our international news channel and I also am in the hospitals PR video and training video.
All I have to do to top off my TV bucket list is to get on All Saints. I am determined to get on there if it kills me.
I have asked for suggestion for other items to add to my list and one of the gals at work suggested having my blog published. If a high class hooker can do it, so can I. I will work on it. I can recommend confessions of a call girl by the way. If nothing else, for the tips about when you have had enough, and you want him to get it over and done with, or just purely for Billy Piper. Man is she hot! The first episode shows her walking away from the camera in a pair of knickers. OMG Her arse is gorgeous.
I intend to start the language learning in the New Year. That is going to be a tough one but I should be fine
Any other suggestions for things to add will be carefully considered.
Great news guy, great cameraman, and I had a good time. I can tick off 15 secs of fame now. I should get around 5secs from this thing and then I had the story from the hospital, which I am told happened on one our international news channel and I also am in the hospitals PR video and training video.
All I have to do to top off my TV bucket list is to get on All Saints. I am determined to get on there if it kills me.
I have asked for suggestion for other items to add to my list and one of the gals at work suggested having my blog published. If a high class hooker can do it, so can I. I will work on it. I can recommend confessions of a call girl by the way. If nothing else, for the tips about when you have had enough, and you want him to get it over and done with, or just purely for Billy Piper. Man is she hot! The first episode shows her walking away from the camera in a pair of knickers. OMG Her arse is gorgeous.
I intend to start the language learning in the New Year. That is going to be a tough one but I should be fine
Any other suggestions for things to add will be carefully considered.
Explosion - Original post date October 19 2008
Diva has had a very stressful week at work. Nothing unusual, I know, but I really let the team know. We have a meeting with the large off shore team every Friday to discuss how things are going. I let it rip. In a nut shell, my guy is worse than useless and isn’t coping at all. The work load is too high, and too complicated. I was then informed that when he goes back home, the software may not work through their server and may be unavailable during the first 2 or so weeks. Well, I let it rip. How the hell can they send this project back without it being tested first? It is ok for the other guys who have ‘helpers’, and I use that term loosely. They don’t have any other job to do so if their people stuff up, they can just take back the work load and all is good. I have my full time job and then there is his work which I really don’t have to time to cope with if it stuffs up. At least they have given some backup for him. I not only have to do my job but still, after 8 weeks, hand hold him through and again, I just don’t have the time.
OK, after my rant, I had more work to do and after about an hour, I had to go to the bathroom because, once again, I cried. I never cry at work. I very rarely cry at home now, so this was a very freaky thing for me. Needless to say, any Friday night activities were cancelled, and I have had a really sore neck and shoulders all weekend, which I know is stress related. I did mean to go and get a massage today but I just felt very ordinary today, so I didn’t bother.
To top my weekend off, apparently ‘it’ has been hurt very badly. I have received communication that I am a bitch who was never there for ‘it’, I wasn’t there when ‘it’ needed me the most, I wasn’t interested in anything he did, or wanted and I didn’t care about his desires. Of course I didn’t care about ‘it’s’ desires. Why should I care about his desire to cheat? Why should I have been there for him? He couldn’t even be there for me when my mother passed away, he couldn’t care about cleaning the house when I was spending all day and night at the hospital. How could I show interest in downloaded, really tacky, illegal porn? How could I show interest in him sitting in front of the pc all night and not spending time with me? The big one for me is....’IT REACKONS IT HAS BEEN HURT BADLY’?????? Did I hurt him for kicking his arse out of my life for cheating? To avoid hurting him, should I have allowed it to continue and be happy for him?
I don’t care about him at all. I stopped caring well over 12 months ago now and yet I care about this bullshit of his. I can be a bitch, but mostly I am a great person to be around. I am easy to please. Hug me, love me, talk to me, spend some time with me and take me on a picnic or watch a DVD with me once in a while. That is it. I know I am easy to get along with but why am I now questioning myself? I just wish he would get out of my life completely.
This extremely sad DIVA is in need of a hug more than ever now, but if I do get one, am I really going to lose the plot and blab uncontrollably?
Good Grief.
OK, after my rant, I had more work to do and after about an hour, I had to go to the bathroom because, once again, I cried. I never cry at work. I very rarely cry at home now, so this was a very freaky thing for me. Needless to say, any Friday night activities were cancelled, and I have had a really sore neck and shoulders all weekend, which I know is stress related. I did mean to go and get a massage today but I just felt very ordinary today, so I didn’t bother.
To top my weekend off, apparently ‘it’ has been hurt very badly. I have received communication that I am a bitch who was never there for ‘it’, I wasn’t there when ‘it’ needed me the most, I wasn’t interested in anything he did, or wanted and I didn’t care about his desires. Of course I didn’t care about ‘it’s’ desires. Why should I care about his desire to cheat? Why should I have been there for him? He couldn’t even be there for me when my mother passed away, he couldn’t care about cleaning the house when I was spending all day and night at the hospital. How could I show interest in downloaded, really tacky, illegal porn? How could I show interest in him sitting in front of the pc all night and not spending time with me? The big one for me is....’IT REACKONS IT HAS BEEN HURT BADLY’?????? Did I hurt him for kicking his arse out of my life for cheating? To avoid hurting him, should I have allowed it to continue and be happy for him?
I don’t care about him at all. I stopped caring well over 12 months ago now and yet I care about this bullshit of his. I can be a bitch, but mostly I am a great person to be around. I am easy to please. Hug me, love me, talk to me, spend some time with me and take me on a picnic or watch a DVD with me once in a while. That is it. I know I am easy to get along with but why am I now questioning myself? I just wish he would get out of my life completely.
This extremely sad DIVA is in need of a hug more than ever now, but if I do get one, am I really going to lose the plot and blab uncontrollably?
Good Grief.
Phone Calls And Slippery Dips - Original post date October 14 2008
Not sure why I should mention slippery dips, but a lot of the time, I am not sure why I blab on here trying to be anonymous and yet most people know who I am.
I got a call from Math Man and no, the ringing wasn't my ears, imagination, the bloody wind chimes outside our neighbors front door that keep clanging in tuneless tones. Diva had a sleep over. Apart from the obvious, we did all the things i love. Kissing, hugging, chatting, laughing, he played with my hair (which is so nice), he ran his fingers across my shoulders and neck. I am totally obsessed with my neck and shoulders. Massages, kisses and so on just make me melt. Really wonderful.......except the bugger left a mark on my neck which kind of looks like an allergy rash, Thank GOD!, but still, a mark dead smack centre in the middle front of my neck. I did warn him that if he did mark me, I would pay him back with one that would be hard to explain to the students. I didn't see it until this morning so the pay back didn't happen.
When I said he could be a keeper, I think I might be right. I guess I should explain my idea of a keeper. A keeper is somebody I would like to see again and see how things go. If things don't happen, then that is fine but if they do, then that is great. I non-keeper is somebody that either I really don't want to spend time with, wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with, or somebody I would spend time with yet I wouldn't open up the possibility of it being more that shag friends. A keeper has to make you laugh, be comfortable chatting with, basically, if sex wasn't involved, and you could still enjoy each others company, that is a keeper. By no means do I go out and buy every bridal mag under the sun thinking a keeper is the one.
Well with all of this said, I am keeping my mind and heart safe for now. I have definitely grown up since my dating experiences of my late 20's . I had a habit of falling for every guy that I not only went to bed with, but with those I simply kissed. I was pathetic.
Other news. Wonderchick finally had her chimney swept by Donkey boy. The look on her face was priceless when she mentioned the size of his assets. She was extremely sore the next day. Is there such a thing as internal carpet burn????? I can just imagine, which is rather wrong, smoke coming out of her JayJay. Hilarious. Sad thing is though, talent is wasted if you don't know how to put it to good use. At least the dear broke the drought.
Barry White was also playing at Bruce's place when Legally Smart stopped in for a visit. A 2 day extended visit. Great to see, well, not literally. I am not into watching, but you know what I mean.
The moons have definitely aligned with the 3 of us doing the do.
Life is good in the world. All I have to ask the universe is to keep this state of affairs consistent with the last few days. We all know I don't cope well with change. Please keep all train wrecks, cyclones, earth quakes etc out of the picture.
I got a call from Math Man and no, the ringing wasn't my ears, imagination, the bloody wind chimes outside our neighbors front door that keep clanging in tuneless tones. Diva had a sleep over. Apart from the obvious, we did all the things i love. Kissing, hugging, chatting, laughing, he played with my hair (which is so nice), he ran his fingers across my shoulders and neck. I am totally obsessed with my neck and shoulders. Massages, kisses and so on just make me melt. Really wonderful.......except the bugger left a mark on my neck which kind of looks like an allergy rash, Thank GOD!, but still, a mark dead smack centre in the middle front of my neck. I did warn him that if he did mark me, I would pay him back with one that would be hard to explain to the students. I didn't see it until this morning so the pay back didn't happen.
When I said he could be a keeper, I think I might be right. I guess I should explain my idea of a keeper. A keeper is somebody I would like to see again and see how things go. If things don't happen, then that is fine but if they do, then that is great. I non-keeper is somebody that either I really don't want to spend time with, wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with, or somebody I would spend time with yet I wouldn't open up the possibility of it being more that shag friends. A keeper has to make you laugh, be comfortable chatting with, basically, if sex wasn't involved, and you could still enjoy each others company, that is a keeper. By no means do I go out and buy every bridal mag under the sun thinking a keeper is the one.
Well with all of this said, I am keeping my mind and heart safe for now. I have definitely grown up since my dating experiences of my late 20's . I had a habit of falling for every guy that I not only went to bed with, but with those I simply kissed. I was pathetic.
Other news. Wonderchick finally had her chimney swept by Donkey boy. The look on her face was priceless when she mentioned the size of his assets. She was extremely sore the next day. Is there such a thing as internal carpet burn????? I can just imagine, which is rather wrong, smoke coming out of her JayJay. Hilarious. Sad thing is though, talent is wasted if you don't know how to put it to good use. At least the dear broke the drought.
Barry White was also playing at Bruce's place when Legally Smart stopped in for a visit. A 2 day extended visit. Great to see, well, not literally. I am not into watching, but you know what I mean.
The moons have definitely aligned with the 3 of us doing the do.
Life is good in the world. All I have to ask the universe is to keep this state of affairs consistent with the last few days. We all know I don't cope well with change. Please keep all train wrecks, cyclones, earth quakes etc out of the picture.
The Week That Was - Original post date October 12 2008
Work this week has been hell for the Diva. I have been busy which is what I like and since I was 'working from home' on Tuesday which is always great because I had my blood re-vamped last Friday and was to dizzy to drive, I had a lot of stuff to catch up on. Of course, me being away meant that fuck stick had a melt down and was so far behind, couldn't run reports etc so it meant I was back to baby sitting. Friday he was sick so I had to catch up his work, plus do mine plus his work from Friday. Good lord.
Friday did end well though. Dinner with Wonder chick, Blondie and Bruce. Conversation went from hilarious to drop through the floor gutter, sex, more gutter, hilarious, moral high ground and hilarious again. The night ended with wonder chick and I having a D&M (not to be mistaken for S&M which would have made wonderchick feel uncomfortable!) I love you guys!
I spent late yesterday afternoon early evening with a girl who was my best friend in primary school, V. She is still great. I saw her mum, dad, and brother which was great also.V's hubby is really sweet and her son is adorable.
I was in a major delema this weekend. I have to buy a dress and shoes for an occasion and so today was the day. I went and walked one of the biggest shopping centres for 4 hours and didn't find anything. I found great shoes but they didn't have my size, and dresses unless you are a size 10, just don't exist. Anyway, I got my nails done, which look FABULOUS, and I just resigned myself to the fact that I would have to make myself a dress. Then I jumped online and thought I would flick through my favorite fashion online shops from the US and although I spent most of yesterday searching and found nothing, I went to one that I had checked out yesterday and there was the perfect dress. I may need to get it taken in but they had it. So excited. Now it is just shoes and I am sweet.
Now I must mention that there are Christmas items in the shops now. For fuck sake. What is that about? Baby showers are usually no more than 1 month before a baby is born so no christmas stuff until December. I wanted to walk out of all shops that had them, but since my luck wasn't going well, I couldn't take the chance of reducing my odds. If I hear carols before December I will have to hurt people.
I have been waiting stupidly for a phone call from Math Man and nothing. Nothing has been a common theme this weekend. I couldn't even hook up a booty call with MCop. Bloody hell.
Well, I have started walking again. I am walking in the morning and in the evening if I don't get home too late. I am feeling really well at the moment, so I can't complain.
'Waiting by the phone and the only thing to ring are my ears. Tinitus is a tease'
Friday did end well though. Dinner with Wonder chick, Blondie and Bruce. Conversation went from hilarious to drop through the floor gutter, sex, more gutter, hilarious, moral high ground and hilarious again. The night ended with wonder chick and I having a D&M (not to be mistaken for S&M which would have made wonderchick feel uncomfortable!) I love you guys!
I spent late yesterday afternoon early evening with a girl who was my best friend in primary school, V. She is still great. I saw her mum, dad, and brother which was great also.V's hubby is really sweet and her son is adorable.
I was in a major delema this weekend. I have to buy a dress and shoes for an occasion and so today was the day. I went and walked one of the biggest shopping centres for 4 hours and didn't find anything. I found great shoes but they didn't have my size, and dresses unless you are a size 10, just don't exist. Anyway, I got my nails done, which look FABULOUS, and I just resigned myself to the fact that I would have to make myself a dress. Then I jumped online and thought I would flick through my favorite fashion online shops from the US and although I spent most of yesterday searching and found nothing, I went to one that I had checked out yesterday and there was the perfect dress. I may need to get it taken in but they had it. So excited. Now it is just shoes and I am sweet.
Now I must mention that there are Christmas items in the shops now. For fuck sake. What is that about? Baby showers are usually no more than 1 month before a baby is born so no christmas stuff until December. I wanted to walk out of all shops that had them, but since my luck wasn't going well, I couldn't take the chance of reducing my odds. If I hear carols before December I will have to hurt people.
I have been waiting stupidly for a phone call from Math Man and nothing. Nothing has been a common theme this weekend. I couldn't even hook up a booty call with MCop. Bloody hell.
Well, I have started walking again. I am walking in the morning and in the evening if I don't get home too late. I am feeling really well at the moment, so I can't complain.
'Waiting by the phone and the only thing to ring are my ears. Tinitus is a tease'
Diva Has Been Bitten - Original post date October 9 2008
Diva went on a date last night. I know this shouldn't be anything special because Diva has been on a number of dates with a number of fellows, however.......
I have been chatting with math man for a little while now and via chat we got on really well. He went to the same uni as I did, which isn't a local one, he studied maths, so did I, he is a teacher, I am too just not in the same way, he is smart, together, has a stable career and knows what he wants.
I agreed to a first date at his place. Stupid in a way, but I gave my sister his address and said if I hadn't called her by midnight, send the cops. I just had a feeling that I could either trust him or trust myself that I could deck him out cold if required. It has been a bad week at work and if I got anymore crap from him I would have the strength of a a gym junkie in a roid rage.
He said what about a casual dinner, wine and dvd on the couch. Very nice first date, although a little confronting. DVD was a good thing though because I thought if conversation was non-existent, we had distraction and no need to strain for chat topics. So he suggested I bring the DVD. Well lord, I said I have a few chick flicks and comedies but mostly psycho thriller murder stuff. OK, freaked him out a little and he was clearly more comfortable with a comedy.
A funny thing. I was more nervous about whether he would freak out if I went in for the typical wog kiss on the cheek greeting. Some guys aren't too comfortable with that and being a first date was that a little odd blah blah blah. I went in for the wog thing and all was good. We actually started chatting straight away which was great. We really hit it off and laughed and chatted. He asked me how my day at work was. I have my friends that are interested in my day, thanks Bruce in particular, but in the wasted 7yrs with 'it', he rarely asked and when he did, he didn't care. Then he cooked. Great tuna pasta dish! We had a glass of wine (I would have brought wine except he mentioned not to bring any as he had a good collection. Impressive). Then had dinner on the couch with the movie. Seriously crap movie. Some funny parts but mostly total crap.
After the movie he asked if I wanted to go outside on the balcony. Great....he wants to push me off now was my main thought but I said yes and thought if I am meant to die at least I will die on a main street with plenty of witnesses. Way to make an exit!
We got chatting and chatting and chatting and then he brushed my hair off my face. Oh my god. That was so unexpected and sweet and romantic and I still have shivers thinking about it. Then he kissed me and asked if it were ok. OMG yet again. As I write I seriously have the butterfly thing happening. This kissing went on for some time actually, and we all know how much I love to kiss.
We then kissed our way inside and got to the bedroom and then I put on the breaks. I think this guy could be a keeper and I wasn't going to spoil it by 'fun' on our first date. I actually have rules with myself. Never sleep with him/her on a first date. Doesn't always work, and with a non-keeper, sure, I am up for a one night stand, but not this time. Funny thing about sex. If I get the butterfly feelings, I fall and get emotionally attached straight away the minute that line is crossed. If I had crossed that line with math man last night and if he didn't call again, I would get all pathetic and cry and feel crap and probably end up calling M-Cop and shagging my brains out just for the sake of it.
We actually ended up on the bed kissing and chatting anyway and I was so close to breaking my own rules (without getting into too much detail, with all the kissing and groping going on, I didn't realise my shirt ripped!), that I had to call it a night. I really really wanted to stay the night but then that little voice in my head said wait and see what happens. He said that it was fine and that he respected my decision and loved kissing etc so he seemed ok. Who knows what he was thinking. He may never call again and if that is the case, I have had a great night but no one night stand.
I hope he calls again. I won't chase him. He knows where I stand. I told him I had a great night and would love to catch up again really soon and he said he would call me.
Fingers crossed
I have been chatting with math man for a little while now and via chat we got on really well. He went to the same uni as I did, which isn't a local one, he studied maths, so did I, he is a teacher, I am too just not in the same way, he is smart, together, has a stable career and knows what he wants.
I agreed to a first date at his place. Stupid in a way, but I gave my sister his address and said if I hadn't called her by midnight, send the cops. I just had a feeling that I could either trust him or trust myself that I could deck him out cold if required. It has been a bad week at work and if I got anymore crap from him I would have the strength of a a gym junkie in a roid rage.
He said what about a casual dinner, wine and dvd on the couch. Very nice first date, although a little confronting. DVD was a good thing though because I thought if conversation was non-existent, we had distraction and no need to strain for chat topics. So he suggested I bring the DVD. Well lord, I said I have a few chick flicks and comedies but mostly psycho thriller murder stuff. OK, freaked him out a little and he was clearly more comfortable with a comedy.
A funny thing. I was more nervous about whether he would freak out if I went in for the typical wog kiss on the cheek greeting. Some guys aren't too comfortable with that and being a first date was that a little odd blah blah blah. I went in for the wog thing and all was good. We actually started chatting straight away which was great. We really hit it off and laughed and chatted. He asked me how my day at work was. I have my friends that are interested in my day, thanks Bruce in particular, but in the wasted 7yrs with 'it', he rarely asked and when he did, he didn't care. Then he cooked. Great tuna pasta dish! We had a glass of wine (I would have brought wine except he mentioned not to bring any as he had a good collection. Impressive). Then had dinner on the couch with the movie. Seriously crap movie. Some funny parts but mostly total crap.
After the movie he asked if I wanted to go outside on the balcony. Great....he wants to push me off now was my main thought but I said yes and thought if I am meant to die at least I will die on a main street with plenty of witnesses. Way to make an exit!
We got chatting and chatting and chatting and then he brushed my hair off my face. Oh my god. That was so unexpected and sweet and romantic and I still have shivers thinking about it. Then he kissed me and asked if it were ok. OMG yet again. As I write I seriously have the butterfly thing happening. This kissing went on for some time actually, and we all know how much I love to kiss.
We then kissed our way inside and got to the bedroom and then I put on the breaks. I think this guy could be a keeper and I wasn't going to spoil it by 'fun' on our first date. I actually have rules with myself. Never sleep with him/her on a first date. Doesn't always work, and with a non-keeper, sure, I am up for a one night stand, but not this time. Funny thing about sex. If I get the butterfly feelings, I fall and get emotionally attached straight away the minute that line is crossed. If I had crossed that line with math man last night and if he didn't call again, I would get all pathetic and cry and feel crap and probably end up calling M-Cop and shagging my brains out just for the sake of it.
We actually ended up on the bed kissing and chatting anyway and I was so close to breaking my own rules (without getting into too much detail, with all the kissing and groping going on, I didn't realise my shirt ripped!), that I had to call it a night. I really really wanted to stay the night but then that little voice in my head said wait and see what happens. He said that it was fine and that he respected my decision and loved kissing etc so he seemed ok. Who knows what he was thinking. He may never call again and if that is the case, I have had a great night but no one night stand.
I hope he calls again. I won't chase him. He knows where I stand. I told him I had a great night and would love to catch up again really soon and he said he would call me.
Fingers crossed
And She's Back - Original post date October 6 2008
Diva has been on a Diva holiday. Well, actually, that is just code for Diva has been flat and not had much to report that was interesting. Although......
Since my last blog I have had a couple of bites at the cherry so to speak.
I had a date with a gorgeous black man with a red convertible Alfa. Not a bad kisser at all and although it looks small, the car I mean, you can get up to quite a bit. Enough room to get up to mischief. I did, however, decide that I would be good and not go back to his place. I have chatted to him a couple more times and yes, kissing and fooling around was good but I have my booty call and he really isn't a keeper.
I had a date with an older guy with a boat. Yes, OK, I am being superficial. Car, boat.....look....after the tight arse that I was with I want somebody who has some money to at least buy me something that isn't a great bargain. I just went for coffee with this older gentleman and yes, he is sexy as all get out, but again, not a real keeper, besides crap kisser. Kissing is big for me.
I have to say that I am still dating these guys. Never know how things will turn out.
I also was supposed to go on a date with a guy and he said he would travel anywhere to meet me, I thought, cool. Somebody willing to put themselves out for me. Then as the day got closer, he said our original meeting place was too far and could we meet at this particular McDonalds. Lord all mighty. Not a great start, but then he said that it was just easier to get parking and that we could go to one of the pubs close by. OK, will give it a go until he then messaged me and said he was only after short term fun and nothing serious, I canned the date. Like I said, I already have a booty call and I don't want another. I guess, I don't want a booty call on his terms. I want them on my terms which I have with M Cop.
OK, back to Hoe town, I have another 2 guys which I am checking out. One seems like a keeper at this stage. He is smart, a teacher, funny, passionate about his work, and we went to the same uni and both have a degree in Maths...well mine is shared with Chem but that is really cool. We have chatted online and via the phone and he seems really sweet. I was supposed to have a date last week but work kept me really late that night so I had to cancel. I have a date with him on Thursday night which nothing will stop. Watch this space.
The other guy I have chatted to and we will probably meet up next weekend.
I have to say though that out of all the men I know, out of my group of male friends, anyone would be the perfect match if we weren't friends and we were actually attracted to each other. I am more mates with them which is odd because I have never wanted to be mates with a love interest before but I have so much fun with mates. Good grief. I need to find a guy/girl (still haven't ruled that out, but the gals have been few and far between) that I can be mates with, yet, still keep that blokey mate thing line uncrossed and perhaps the relationship thing would work.
Who knows?
A couple more updates for you
I had a great dinner with Wonder chick and Bruce a couple of weeks ago. Seriously, I was rather tipsy yet no arses were groped so I wasn't wasted. I know I had a great night although I was buggered due to low iron so our next gathering, Friday, should be even better. Blondie is supposed to be joining us so Bruce had better be prepared with either some male company or he better watch out!!!!!!
I also had a snog off with a chick friend I haven't seen in ages. We went to a bar and 'it' was there so we decided to 'GET IT ON' to give him a show. Basically, every time it started walking our way, we got it on. He was rather uncomfortable as he had no idea I had 'controversial' tendencies, but I told him it was none of is business as he was out of my life now and he could well and truly go and fuck himself.
I must say that what is it with kissing somebody new? Am I a little odd in that I don't think you should go in for the swallow you whole like a python until you at least know what each others lips feel like? A few kisses much like a 'recckie' to get a feel for the joint then off you go. I felt like she was about to swallow my head the minute our lips touched. Perhaps I am wrong and I need a few lessons on technique. Please let me know and if you want to be my teacher, I am ready to be taught!
That is about it for now.
xxxxxxx
Since my last blog I have had a couple of bites at the cherry so to speak.
I had a date with a gorgeous black man with a red convertible Alfa. Not a bad kisser at all and although it looks small, the car I mean, you can get up to quite a bit. Enough room to get up to mischief. I did, however, decide that I would be good and not go back to his place. I have chatted to him a couple more times and yes, kissing and fooling around was good but I have my booty call and he really isn't a keeper.
I had a date with an older guy with a boat. Yes, OK, I am being superficial. Car, boat.....look....after the tight arse that I was with I want somebody who has some money to at least buy me something that isn't a great bargain. I just went for coffee with this older gentleman and yes, he is sexy as all get out, but again, not a real keeper, besides crap kisser. Kissing is big for me.
I have to say that I am still dating these guys. Never know how things will turn out.
I also was supposed to go on a date with a guy and he said he would travel anywhere to meet me, I thought, cool. Somebody willing to put themselves out for me. Then as the day got closer, he said our original meeting place was too far and could we meet at this particular McDonalds. Lord all mighty. Not a great start, but then he said that it was just easier to get parking and that we could go to one of the pubs close by. OK, will give it a go until he then messaged me and said he was only after short term fun and nothing serious, I canned the date. Like I said, I already have a booty call and I don't want another. I guess, I don't want a booty call on his terms. I want them on my terms which I have with M Cop.
OK, back to Hoe town, I have another 2 guys which I am checking out. One seems like a keeper at this stage. He is smart, a teacher, funny, passionate about his work, and we went to the same uni and both have a degree in Maths...well mine is shared with Chem but that is really cool. We have chatted online and via the phone and he seems really sweet. I was supposed to have a date last week but work kept me really late that night so I had to cancel. I have a date with him on Thursday night which nothing will stop. Watch this space.
The other guy I have chatted to and we will probably meet up next weekend.
I have to say though that out of all the men I know, out of my group of male friends, anyone would be the perfect match if we weren't friends and we were actually attracted to each other. I am more mates with them which is odd because I have never wanted to be mates with a love interest before but I have so much fun with mates. Good grief. I need to find a guy/girl (still haven't ruled that out, but the gals have been few and far between) that I can be mates with, yet, still keep that blokey mate thing line uncrossed and perhaps the relationship thing would work.
Who knows?
A couple more updates for you
I had a great dinner with Wonder chick and Bruce a couple of weeks ago. Seriously, I was rather tipsy yet no arses were groped so I wasn't wasted. I know I had a great night although I was buggered due to low iron so our next gathering, Friday, should be even better. Blondie is supposed to be joining us so Bruce had better be prepared with either some male company or he better watch out!!!!!!
I also had a snog off with a chick friend I haven't seen in ages. We went to a bar and 'it' was there so we decided to 'GET IT ON' to give him a show. Basically, every time it started walking our way, we got it on. He was rather uncomfortable as he had no idea I had 'controversial' tendencies, but I told him it was none of is business as he was out of my life now and he could well and truly go and fuck himself.
I must say that what is it with kissing somebody new? Am I a little odd in that I don't think you should go in for the swallow you whole like a python until you at least know what each others lips feel like? A few kisses much like a 'recckie' to get a feel for the joint then off you go. I felt like she was about to swallow my head the minute our lips touched. Perhaps I am wrong and I need a few lessons on technique. Please let me know and if you want to be my teacher, I am ready to be taught!
That is about it for now.
xxxxxxx
Diva Is Sad Confused Blah Blah Blah - Original post date September 4 2008
Diva had a sad day today, but I won't go into details but that was on top of a really odd feeling which I don't like at all.
I decided I needed to chat to MCop without distractions so the bedroom, lounge room, bathroom...you get my drift, were all out so we chatted over dinner at a restaurant.
I needed to clarify that I really couldn't do an emotionally involved relationship at the moment. I just don't know what I would do if my heart got broken again so soon. He said, as he did the other night, that he hoped I catch up to him soon, but he could do the 'just sex' thing. There was one condition though, and that was we had to spend less time getting to know each other and more time having sex. Yes, I gave in. I got into work very late this morning and had 'shagged within an inch of my life' hair. It was what I needed. He actually said he didn't want me to go to work. (sorry friends)....He said he wanted to worship me all day. I reluctantly went to work.
I know I am a little more emotional at the moment and I need a friend hug big time, but I really felt weird, confused, hurt, odd.... Blondie summed it up well. I was the one in control before. I had him by the short and curlies. He was emotionally attached (or so he said) and I could play with him all I liked. Now that we are both just for the sex, we are on an even playing field and I am no longer in control. I now feel vulnerable and I hate that. I think this also means that perhaps I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't emotionally attached when in actual fact I was but, in control.
Why does my brain have to over analyse everything? Why can't I just run with it and enjoy the ride?
I have said that I have never been into the friends with benefits thing. This isn't even starting with friends and it feels just way too wrong. I like the benefits but it is the benefits which hands your heart over and takes no responsibility for what happens to it.
I am going to let this week end and see how I go. I don't actually want to see him next week. I don't like the idea of not spending time getting to know each other. I really think this may mean I am getting attached even though we have absolutely nothing in common except I wanted to kiss a cop and he is one.
I decided I needed to chat to MCop without distractions so the bedroom, lounge room, bathroom...you get my drift, were all out so we chatted over dinner at a restaurant.
I needed to clarify that I really couldn't do an emotionally involved relationship at the moment. I just don't know what I would do if my heart got broken again so soon. He said, as he did the other night, that he hoped I catch up to him soon, but he could do the 'just sex' thing. There was one condition though, and that was we had to spend less time getting to know each other and more time having sex. Yes, I gave in. I got into work very late this morning and had 'shagged within an inch of my life' hair. It was what I needed. He actually said he didn't want me to go to work. (sorry friends)....He said he wanted to worship me all day. I reluctantly went to work.
I know I am a little more emotional at the moment and I need a friend hug big time, but I really felt weird, confused, hurt, odd.... Blondie summed it up well. I was the one in control before. I had him by the short and curlies. He was emotionally attached (or so he said) and I could play with him all I liked. Now that we are both just for the sex, we are on an even playing field and I am no longer in control. I now feel vulnerable and I hate that. I think this also means that perhaps I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't emotionally attached when in actual fact I was but, in control.
Why does my brain have to over analyse everything? Why can't I just run with it and enjoy the ride?
I have said that I have never been into the friends with benefits thing. This isn't even starting with friends and it feels just way too wrong. I like the benefits but it is the benefits which hands your heart over and takes no responsibility for what happens to it.
I am going to let this week end and see how I go. I don't actually want to see him next week. I don't like the idea of not spending time getting to know each other. I really think this may mean I am getting attached even though we have absolutely nothing in common except I wanted to kiss a cop and he is one.
I was Channeling Gordon Ramsey Last Week - Original post date August 31 2008
It is official. They are giving the admin side of my job to a fuck stick and there is nothing I can do about it.
Just when I thought my job was going to get easier with an extra pair of hands, I am stuck with a total moron, that can't understand why somebody would want to order 8 replacement light bulbs and only 2 fan belts. Why not 8? I don't understand. Then he wants to learn more. It took him 4 hours to raise 8 orders which only take me a max of 15 mins in total and that was after showing him and getting him to do some in front of me for 3 days. It also took him 5 1/2 hours to clean up a report that takes me 30 mins. I have said he can't learn more until he knows the basics. He isn't happy with that. He wants me to give him a script on dealing with help desk enquiries. I said that all enquiries are different and each person understands at a different level, so you can't have a script. You just have to think on your feet, try things, think outside the square and if that doesn't work, then escalate the problem.
He keeps asking who he will learn the next stages from. I am the only one who knows my job and my boss can't teach him my job because he doesn't know, he just trusts me that I am an expert in my field. This nob jockey is so disappointed that my boss can't train him, I think he is wanting a bloke to train him. He is having trouble dealing with a chick knowing more than he does and that a chick has to pull him up on things he does wrong.
I would be better off doing it all myself. I would be happy earning a bucket load...ok, working 60 hours a week, but at least I know it would be done.
I need to go back into hospital for a service on my blood and it was hoped that he would be able to do my job while I recovered because this treatment will be worse than last time, but it doesn't look like it will be that way.
Why the hell can't I just employ somebody here locally, that I can interview to get a feel for them and determine if they have an IQ above 100. I need somebody that has a brain in their head who isn't afraid to take chances to see if something works. If it doesn't then we can sort it out together.
I am so sick of it. Last week sucked big time. I am currently looking for work so when my contract is up, I have options if things don't change.
I have been so happy until now with my job.
I don't think I have said fuck so many times at work ever in my life as I did last week. Fuck me....I had to say that to let the valve release for a few moments. I was honestly willing to go to prison last week to just kill one person. I wasn't asking for a serial thing or a mass culling. Just one very skinny, tiny person. I actually had to go and sit in the loo because the stress got too much that I got all pathetic and cried. I never cry at work.
FFFFUUUUUCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just when I thought my job was going to get easier with an extra pair of hands, I am stuck with a total moron, that can't understand why somebody would want to order 8 replacement light bulbs and only 2 fan belts. Why not 8? I don't understand. Then he wants to learn more. It took him 4 hours to raise 8 orders which only take me a max of 15 mins in total and that was after showing him and getting him to do some in front of me for 3 days. It also took him 5 1/2 hours to clean up a report that takes me 30 mins. I have said he can't learn more until he knows the basics. He isn't happy with that. He wants me to give him a script on dealing with help desk enquiries. I said that all enquiries are different and each person understands at a different level, so you can't have a script. You just have to think on your feet, try things, think outside the square and if that doesn't work, then escalate the problem.
He keeps asking who he will learn the next stages from. I am the only one who knows my job and my boss can't teach him my job because he doesn't know, he just trusts me that I am an expert in my field. This nob jockey is so disappointed that my boss can't train him, I think he is wanting a bloke to train him. He is having trouble dealing with a chick knowing more than he does and that a chick has to pull him up on things he does wrong.
I would be better off doing it all myself. I would be happy earning a bucket load...ok, working 60 hours a week, but at least I know it would be done.
I need to go back into hospital for a service on my blood and it was hoped that he would be able to do my job while I recovered because this treatment will be worse than last time, but it doesn't look like it will be that way.
Why the hell can't I just employ somebody here locally, that I can interview to get a feel for them and determine if they have an IQ above 100. I need somebody that has a brain in their head who isn't afraid to take chances to see if something works. If it doesn't then we can sort it out together.
I am so sick of it. Last week sucked big time. I am currently looking for work so when my contract is up, I have options if things don't change.
I have been so happy until now with my job.
I don't think I have said fuck so many times at work ever in my life as I did last week. Fuck me....I had to say that to let the valve release for a few moments. I was honestly willing to go to prison last week to just kill one person. I wasn't asking for a serial thing or a mass culling. Just one very skinny, tiny person. I actually had to go and sit in the loo because the stress got too much that I got all pathetic and cried. I never cry at work.
FFFFUUUUUCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Aunty Jane - Original Post Date August 31 2008
Diva has had another couple of shag fests and it wasn't a fluke. The choirs of angels have been getting a work out and for somebody who doesn't believe in god or jesus, I have been shouting their names a hell of a lot.
I need to get some advice from some young male fans, so, please feel free to put in your two bob worth.
I have gone into this encounter (not sure what else to call it) without any expectations, and not wanting to get emotionally involved. I actually haven 't allowed myself to get emotionally involved which is why I think I am so open about the choirs et al. I have been known to make a passing comment or two relating to the sex life or lack there of, but never just gone out and spread the word.
MCop used the L word at our last encounter. This was during a very nice quiet moment, which made me realise it wasn't just said in the heat of the moment or as a bit of fun. I nearly packed up my stuff and left but I though better of it. I was content, and warm, not wanting to hit the cold night/morning air. I ended up ignoring it and it wasn't mentioned again.
Then during another 'rest' period, he asked me 'if something happened to go wrong, would you get pregnant?' I said no and he said, 'I wouldn't mind if you did, in fact, I would be happy' to which I blurted out, you don't have to worry about that because I can't have kids'. Then he wanted the full detail which, after much persuading, I gave him. John Paul George and Ringo, I didn't even tell the ex why, he just knew I couldn't and all was good. I thought, well, if he can say the L word and wouldn't mind if I got pregnant then this would be a good way of seeing if he is just after a mother for his gene pool or if he did have feelings for me.
He was really lovely and all was good, but then it got me thinking....did he just want to go without the raincoat? Was this whole scenario, L word, kids thing just a way of playing me into a false sense of security? Was he screwing with my mind? Was this all planned?
I chatted to a couple of my gal pals, and the verdict is undecided. Some say that he wants family etc because of his ethnic back ground and what is expected, and he was testing the waters, and others say he is bordering on toe rag status wanting to go nude.
OK, Boys.....I need a verdict here.
I do have another date on Wednesday night which I will attend either way. All the while I am having fun and not emotionally involved, why not. But does that make me a nasty hoe slag if he wants a family and I am just wanting him as my toy???
I need to get some advice from some young male fans, so, please feel free to put in your two bob worth.
I have gone into this encounter (not sure what else to call it) without any expectations, and not wanting to get emotionally involved. I actually haven 't allowed myself to get emotionally involved which is why I think I am so open about the choirs et al. I have been known to make a passing comment or two relating to the sex life or lack there of, but never just gone out and spread the word.
MCop used the L word at our last encounter. This was during a very nice quiet moment, which made me realise it wasn't just said in the heat of the moment or as a bit of fun. I nearly packed up my stuff and left but I though better of it. I was content, and warm, not wanting to hit the cold night/morning air. I ended up ignoring it and it wasn't mentioned again.
Then during another 'rest' period, he asked me 'if something happened to go wrong, would you get pregnant?' I said no and he said, 'I wouldn't mind if you did, in fact, I would be happy' to which I blurted out, you don't have to worry about that because I can't have kids'. Then he wanted the full detail which, after much persuading, I gave him. John Paul George and Ringo, I didn't even tell the ex why, he just knew I couldn't and all was good. I thought, well, if he can say the L word and wouldn't mind if I got pregnant then this would be a good way of seeing if he is just after a mother for his gene pool or if he did have feelings for me.
He was really lovely and all was good, but then it got me thinking....did he just want to go without the raincoat? Was this whole scenario, L word, kids thing just a way of playing me into a false sense of security? Was he screwing with my mind? Was this all planned?
I chatted to a couple of my gal pals, and the verdict is undecided. Some say that he wants family etc because of his ethnic back ground and what is expected, and he was testing the waters, and others say he is bordering on toe rag status wanting to go nude.
OK, Boys.....I need a verdict here.
I do have another date on Wednesday night which I will attend either way. All the while I am having fun and not emotionally involved, why not. But does that make me a nasty hoe slag if he wants a family and I am just wanting him as my toy???
I Used To Love Shopping - Original post date August 24 2008
I went shopping today and came across the manager from hell.
She was serving somebody in between yelling across the floor to a young girl 'leave the customers and go back to your own area. Don't worry about them, they will just have to wait'. Then she ended up going over to her leaving her guy waiting and told everyone that she was no longer serving and they would have to find somebody else to help them. There was no one else. Then she yelled at an older guy in another department wanting to know why he was out of his department and he said that the other girl had gone to lunch. She then went off her head in front of other customers saying that girl shouldn't bother coming back. Just tell her to pack her bags and go because she went to lunch before her relief got there. I was waiting for her to unlock a cupboard to get the item I wanted, but instead she ignored me and served 5 other people before I went up to her and asked for the bloody keys so I could get the thing myself. She then went to unlock it but she had the wrong keys. She started swearing her head off, throwing things around and then after finding the right keys, she threw my item on the bench and said, I don't have time to wait around for an eftpos transaction, so I had to pay cash. I was going to anyway but I thought' fuck the bitch' and I got out my credit card and said I wasn't moving until she did the transaction. She eventually did it.
I wouldn't have stood for that normally and I would have walked out but this store was the only one that had what I wanted.
I think I should be congratulated for not slapping the bitch.
Peace love and alfalfa!
She was serving somebody in between yelling across the floor to a young girl 'leave the customers and go back to your own area. Don't worry about them, they will just have to wait'. Then she ended up going over to her leaving her guy waiting and told everyone that she was no longer serving and they would have to find somebody else to help them. There was no one else. Then she yelled at an older guy in another department wanting to know why he was out of his department and he said that the other girl had gone to lunch. She then went off her head in front of other customers saying that girl shouldn't bother coming back. Just tell her to pack her bags and go because she went to lunch before her relief got there. I was waiting for her to unlock a cupboard to get the item I wanted, but instead she ignored me and served 5 other people before I went up to her and asked for the bloody keys so I could get the thing myself. She then went to unlock it but she had the wrong keys. She started swearing her head off, throwing things around and then after finding the right keys, she threw my item on the bench and said, I don't have time to wait around for an eftpos transaction, so I had to pay cash. I was going to anyway but I thought' fuck the bitch' and I got out my credit card and said I wasn't moving until she did the transaction. She eventually did it.
I wouldn't have stood for that normally and I would have walked out but this store was the only one that had what I wanted.
I think I should be congratulated for not slapping the bitch.
Peace love and alfalfa!
How Good Were Those Burritos? - Original post date August 24 2008
Friday night at Bruce's with Wonderchick and new boy Chicken tattoo was fabulous.
It started with me driving to wonder chicks to drop off my car and pay a visit (great place. I miss my own space. I haven't had my own space for 7 yrs and I need some now!!!!). Then we jumped into WC's car (I know it is an abbreviation for a loo but I can't keep writing wonderchick so live with it), and we started the trek to Bruce's.
I can't get over the fact that we got very serious in our conversation. Very surprising but great because I haven't had a serious conversation about me for a while. Work yes but me, no. Then WC felt the need to clarify that she very much liked penis and wouldn't switch. Not sure how it came up but I did mention that it wasn't even an up in the air question for me. She is as straight as they come. I told sex train guy that I wouldn't be able to turn her if I tried so I reassured her that there wasn't an issue and all was good. It never crossed my mind to be honest. Apart from the fact that she isn't my 'type' (I am happy to check out the lipstick fem's but in a relationship, I prefer a butch chick), I never consider people I meet through work. I have been there once and won't go there again. It gets really awkward if things don't work out or if you happen to be in a meeting and have to have 'a rather heated discussion', because things tend to get personal even if not intended.
Just as a side but still on the possibly inappropriate or 'only going end badly' type relationships, I dated a lecturer of mine. He was a lecturer in my 1st year but we didn't date until my second year...ok not long after my results came out. We did spend a bit of time together prior but only as friends and I never saw a copy of the exam papers and he never marked them, but it came to bite me the following year. A pig of a man ended up failing me saying that I wouldn't be able to sleep my way to an HD in his class. I said to him that I wouldn't even consider it with him. Anyway, I ended up appealing and got back my HD. He said I didn't hand in any lab reports but I was the head of my team and they all had their results for the labs so he didn't have a leg to stand on. He was sacked and my guy ended up moving to the States. It was strongly suggested to him and I that we both move uni's, hence my move up north.
Back on track now.
Dinner was great. Had a lot of laughs to the point that I hardly had a voice yesterday and singing was out of the question. I tend to get a little loud when I have had a few to drink, so no wonder my voice was scratchy. I wasn't overly affected by the Alcohol because all arses were in tact and hadn't bee groped by me to all was good. WC and Bruce are fabulous people and new friend Chicken Tattoo who is a top notch guy. There are some amazing guys out there that does assist in renewing my faith. We had mexican and sangria. I know cross cultural and you should never mention mexican and spanish in the one sentence but i all worked. I think the UN Choc Orange helped to smooth things over. The boys did a great job with the cooking. Guys in a kitchen (my favorite room of the house in a platonic friendship) is always a great thing.
Conversation moved from casual, chuckles, hilarious, inappropriate and then back again. All fabulous. WC had a major headache and Bruce was a little worse for wear from the night before so we ended up leaving before midnight. I didn't get home until 'fuck off o'clock' but it was a great night. Got to love living in the boon docks!
Thanks boys and girls. Top stuff!
It started with me driving to wonder chicks to drop off my car and pay a visit (great place. I miss my own space. I haven't had my own space for 7 yrs and I need some now!!!!). Then we jumped into WC's car (I know it is an abbreviation for a loo but I can't keep writing wonderchick so live with it), and we started the trek to Bruce's.
I can't get over the fact that we got very serious in our conversation. Very surprising but great because I haven't had a serious conversation about me for a while. Work yes but me, no. Then WC felt the need to clarify that she very much liked penis and wouldn't switch. Not sure how it came up but I did mention that it wasn't even an up in the air question for me. She is as straight as they come. I told sex train guy that I wouldn't be able to turn her if I tried so I reassured her that there wasn't an issue and all was good. It never crossed my mind to be honest. Apart from the fact that she isn't my 'type' (I am happy to check out the lipstick fem's but in a relationship, I prefer a butch chick), I never consider people I meet through work. I have been there once and won't go there again. It gets really awkward if things don't work out or if you happen to be in a meeting and have to have 'a rather heated discussion', because things tend to get personal even if not intended.
Just as a side but still on the possibly inappropriate or 'only going end badly' type relationships, I dated a lecturer of mine. He was a lecturer in my 1st year but we didn't date until my second year...ok not long after my results came out. We did spend a bit of time together prior but only as friends and I never saw a copy of the exam papers and he never marked them, but it came to bite me the following year. A pig of a man ended up failing me saying that I wouldn't be able to sleep my way to an HD in his class. I said to him that I wouldn't even consider it with him. Anyway, I ended up appealing and got back my HD. He said I didn't hand in any lab reports but I was the head of my team and they all had their results for the labs so he didn't have a leg to stand on. He was sacked and my guy ended up moving to the States. It was strongly suggested to him and I that we both move uni's, hence my move up north.
Back on track now.
Dinner was great. Had a lot of laughs to the point that I hardly had a voice yesterday and singing was out of the question. I tend to get a little loud when I have had a few to drink, so no wonder my voice was scratchy. I wasn't overly affected by the Alcohol because all arses were in tact and hadn't bee groped by me to all was good. WC and Bruce are fabulous people and new friend Chicken Tattoo who is a top notch guy. There are some amazing guys out there that does assist in renewing my faith. We had mexican and sangria. I know cross cultural and you should never mention mexican and spanish in the one sentence but i all worked. I think the UN Choc Orange helped to smooth things over. The boys did a great job with the cooking. Guys in a kitchen (my favorite room of the house in a platonic friendship) is always a great thing.
Conversation moved from casual, chuckles, hilarious, inappropriate and then back again. All fabulous. WC had a major headache and Bruce was a little worse for wear from the night before so we ended up leaving before midnight. I didn't get home until 'fuck off o'clock' but it was a great night. Got to love living in the boon docks!
Thanks boys and girls. Top stuff!
Another Memory - Original post August 20 2008
Back in my early 20's I did what most young people wanting to rebel against the norm did. I did a few drugs. Weed, tabs, nothing too bad and not for very long.
Anyway, I was once at a musicians jam party in 'The Gong' and a group of us were stoned off our tree. We had a great idea that we should get in the back of a guys combie van while he drove around 'The Gong'. I was discussing with Wonder chick and Blondie the other day that it is amazing that when you are stoned, you think the slower you drive the less likely you are to be picked up by the cops. Blondie pointed out that also, if you crouch down so you can't be seen driving, you won't get caught, and if you don't have your headlights on, your car is invisible.
Anyway, we were having a great time slooooowly taking in the night sky by darkness (no headlights) and then we got to a round about. We got on that round about and the guy driving said 'Man, I am caught in a vortex and cant get out.' We kept going round and round the round about for what I am sure was around 30 mins at least. This was heaps of fun though because we were passing around the juice bottle and visit around the round about was a new adventure. A couple of us got up in the end and helped to steer us to safety. That was purely because we needed to go to a 7eleven and get mars bars, caramello koalas and chocolate milk. Ah, the munchies........ the satisfaction of eating your first caramello koala with a moove milk chaser followed by mars bar desert. Nothing more amazing.
So that was a memory I thought I should share before my younger days catch up with me and I can't remember a thing.
Anyway, I was once at a musicians jam party in 'The Gong' and a group of us were stoned off our tree. We had a great idea that we should get in the back of a guys combie van while he drove around 'The Gong'. I was discussing with Wonder chick and Blondie the other day that it is amazing that when you are stoned, you think the slower you drive the less likely you are to be picked up by the cops. Blondie pointed out that also, if you crouch down so you can't be seen driving, you won't get caught, and if you don't have your headlights on, your car is invisible.
Anyway, we were having a great time slooooowly taking in the night sky by darkness (no headlights) and then we got to a round about. We got on that round about and the guy driving said 'Man, I am caught in a vortex and cant get out.' We kept going round and round the round about for what I am sure was around 30 mins at least. This was heaps of fun though because we were passing around the juice bottle and visit around the round about was a new adventure. A couple of us got up in the end and helped to steer us to safety. That was purely because we needed to go to a 7eleven and get mars bars, caramello koalas and chocolate milk. Ah, the munchies........ the satisfaction of eating your first caramello koala with a moove milk chaser followed by mars bar desert. Nothing more amazing.
So that was a memory I thought I should share before my younger days catch up with me and I can't remember a thing.
Somebody Needs A Slappin And There Will Be No Enjoyment Felt - Original post date August 20 2008
I remember saying that I was sick of hearing about friends that have an amazing, yet confusing, sex life, saying I would love a sex life no matter how confusing.
OK, my sex life in the last 9 months (prior to that is was pretty pitiful too) has equated to 1 poor friend with benefit thing and 1 amazing night-morning shag fest, but at least he said that he misses me. Ok it could be the sex with me that he misses but hey, either way is good. Keep him wanting more and control the situation. (Lord, I am doing the control thing again.) I can say that I have had a shag or many and I am thrilled!
Wonder chick, however, is in a situation that has me furious with a certain young boy that doesn't know what is good for him. 2 dates in 9 months 1st date not even a snog, second date a kiss and a very brief moment of boob action, and dates since May have been rescheduled and rescheduled and now, he can't see her until Sept when they will try to catch up again. Let me tell you, he had better be worth waiting for, and none of this quick kiss and boob brush. The end result should have her hair looking like she has been shagged within an inch of her life and then go in for more.
What is wrong with blokes? They are either at one extreme or another. They either go in for the main course and have tentacles (not testicles) flaying about groping without thought, or, they won't even touch you. (MCop is different though. He has the combination just right. First date not too much, but just right. Actually if I hadn't promised myself I would be a good girl for at least the first date then who knows what would have happened.)
OK, boys. Those of you that I know, since there are some of you that I haven't been on a date with, I can't include you in on this generalisation. I am sure you are all 'just right' and if any of you wish to prove that, then I am happy to consider it. Hey, I am always up for a snog! (I know I use the word snog a lot. I just hate the term pash. It is so 1980's high school days. Dawn French snogs, and since it is good enough for her, it is good enough for me. She is one very sexy lady!)
I can't believe that I have blabbed about my experience the way I have. I was always under the impression that blokes do the talking about it and gals keep things to themselves. I am telling just about anyone that will listen. I am really to shout it from the rooftop... 'I shagged a cop for hours and it was fabulous'.
OK, I am going to do everyone a favour and shut up about the shag thing now. Talking about it is a little tacky and I know I hated hearing about it when I was in the desert.
"Sex is nothing when you don't get it and everything when you do"
OK, my sex life in the last 9 months (prior to that is was pretty pitiful too) has equated to 1 poor friend with benefit thing and 1 amazing night-morning shag fest, but at least he said that he misses me. Ok it could be the sex with me that he misses but hey, either way is good. Keep him wanting more and control the situation. (Lord, I am doing the control thing again.) I can say that I have had a shag or many and I am thrilled!
Wonder chick, however, is in a situation that has me furious with a certain young boy that doesn't know what is good for him. 2 dates in 9 months 1st date not even a snog, second date a kiss and a very brief moment of boob action, and dates since May have been rescheduled and rescheduled and now, he can't see her until Sept when they will try to catch up again. Let me tell you, he had better be worth waiting for, and none of this quick kiss and boob brush. The end result should have her hair looking like she has been shagged within an inch of her life and then go in for more.
What is wrong with blokes? They are either at one extreme or another. They either go in for the main course and have tentacles (not testicles) flaying about groping without thought, or, they won't even touch you. (MCop is different though. He has the combination just right. First date not too much, but just right. Actually if I hadn't promised myself I would be a good girl for at least the first date then who knows what would have happened.)
OK, boys. Those of you that I know, since there are some of you that I haven't been on a date with, I can't include you in on this generalisation. I am sure you are all 'just right' and if any of you wish to prove that, then I am happy to consider it. Hey, I am always up for a snog! (I know I use the word snog a lot. I just hate the term pash. It is so 1980's high school days. Dawn French snogs, and since it is good enough for her, it is good enough for me. She is one very sexy lady!)
I can't believe that I have blabbed about my experience the way I have. I was always under the impression that blokes do the talking about it and gals keep things to themselves. I am telling just about anyone that will listen. I am really to shout it from the rooftop... 'I shagged a cop for hours and it was fabulous'.
OK, I am going to do everyone a favour and shut up about the shag thing now. Talking about it is a little tacky and I know I hated hearing about it when I was in the desert.
"Sex is nothing when you don't get it and everything when you do"
Inspiration - Original post August 19 2008
I have written a creative piece Inspired by Kate Miller-Heidke's song 'Ducks don't need satellites'. I had planned to consume a large amount of Alcohol and had the phenergon and oxycodon on hand, to assist in my creative pursuits should the alcohol not be enough. However, sadly, I didn't need anythig to assist me. This could be a sad indication of my state of mind. Either the weekend has turned my brain into mush or I need to be committed
I have decided to name this piece 'Plovers don't duck, they beep'. (this title came to me this morning walking up the path to work. We have a resident Plover couple who have just had 4 more chicks and we also have 2 ducks that have just arrived. Rather dumb ducks as we don't have water anywhere around and I thought they liked to swim. I could be wrong)
Ok here goes - The intention is to have a guitar and cello doing rather random 'noises' through out to accompany the narrative and interpretive dance piece.
Plovers Don't Duck, They Beep - A Soliloquy by The Diva
I sit and wonder why the sky is green and the grass is blue
My covering sticks down as I put my feet up on the ground
A clown walks by with a frown and I see a merry-go-square
Plovers don't duck they beep
I discover inventions not yet invented
Waiting for importance to be bestowed upon a beige collage
Full of interest and wonder, boredom reigns
Plovers don't duck, they beep
May the force be in you my friend
May you always question the phone
The stranger is familiar in the world of random order
Beep Beep Plovers don't duck
The tool you need is never around
The tool you never want you can't get rid of
You can't live without Allan if you are 6 degrees from Scandinavia
Plovers Beep don't duck
At what point does slow become fast
Relative nature is specifically approximate
Flowers grow to be admired in death
Ducks don't, but beeps plover
Spinning around is fun until its not
Love is disappointing when it is lovely
Bad is good, good is tedious
Ducks plover, they don't beep
The ones that don't, take the credit for the ones that do
Nurture them until they are replaced
Little is cute until it attacks
Plovers don't beep they duck
In this universal existence of fantastical reality
It is easy to hang from your feet
Get turned inside out and realise
Plovers don't duck, they beep
Thank you to Kate Miller-Heidke and a huge thank you to all my fans.
All that creating has me exhausted and in need of quiet.
Peace and chilled baboons bottoms
I have decided to name this piece 'Plovers don't duck, they beep'. (this title came to me this morning walking up the path to work. We have a resident Plover couple who have just had 4 more chicks and we also have 2 ducks that have just arrived. Rather dumb ducks as we don't have water anywhere around and I thought they liked to swim. I could be wrong)
Ok here goes - The intention is to have a guitar and cello doing rather random 'noises' through out to accompany the narrative and interpretive dance piece.
Plovers Don't Duck, They Beep - A Soliloquy by The Diva
I sit and wonder why the sky is green and the grass is blue
My covering sticks down as I put my feet up on the ground
A clown walks by with a frown and I see a merry-go-square
Plovers don't duck they beep
I discover inventions not yet invented
Waiting for importance to be bestowed upon a beige collage
Full of interest and wonder, boredom reigns
Plovers don't duck, they beep
May the force be in you my friend
May you always question the phone
The stranger is familiar in the world of random order
Beep Beep Plovers don't duck
The tool you need is never around
The tool you never want you can't get rid of
You can't live without Allan if you are 6 degrees from Scandinavia
Plovers Beep don't duck
At what point does slow become fast
Relative nature is specifically approximate
Flowers grow to be admired in death
Ducks don't, but beeps plover
Spinning around is fun until its not
Love is disappointing when it is lovely
Bad is good, good is tedious
Ducks plover, they don't beep
The ones that don't, take the credit for the ones that do
Nurture them until they are replaced
Little is cute until it attacks
Plovers don't beep they duck
In this universal existence of fantastical reality
It is easy to hang from your feet
Get turned inside out and realise
Plovers don't duck, they beep
Thank you to Kate Miller-Heidke and a huge thank you to all my fans.
All that creating has me exhausted and in need of quiet.
Peace and chilled baboons bottoms
Reminiscing - Original post date August 19 2008
Chatting to wonder chick and blondie (call me...one way or another) about my previous years as a uni student.
I remember eating generic tuna and 2min noodles for a week to pay for the electricity bill, boxes covered with a sarong made a great coffee table and it was cool to be a hippie and sit on cushions on the floor rather than a lounge.
I flatted with a guy who appeared really nice and we got on from the first meeting. We chatted for hours and so of course 3 weeks later I moved in. The beach was a 5 min walk from our unit, the cafe strip was a 5min walk in the other direction and uni wasn’t far either.
He was wonderful to start with. Cleaning up after himself, while I would go for a walk he would wash the floors. Fantastic.
Then, he turned. He had an obsession with dark black chocolate ice cream. He would almost get his whole hand in the tub to dig the stuff out and then leave black finger prints all over the white freezer door. He would leave dishes everywhere, and this was bad because he was always eating.
Little did I know that the constant eating of sweet stuff was the ‘munchies’. He had a hydro crop in his huge built in wardrobe which I discovered when I needed the vacuum cleaner and as he was leaving the unit he said to go into his room and get it. (I wondered why our electric bill was so high).
He had regular women in and out of his room at varying intervals and rather odd noises would resonate from there but I asked no questions and put my Discman on while I studied.
One day he left our unit and left his door open. On his bed to my surprise was a naked woman, hog tied with a ball gag on making all sorts of muffled noises. She was trying to say something but of course the gag stopped her. I had some knowledge of ‘role play’ so I asked her if she was ok to which she nodded and then I asked if she wanted me to take off her gag and untie her and she shook her head. I asked if she wanted me to shut the door and say I shut it and it wasn’t her asking and she nodded with what I can only describe as a ball-gag smile and a wink, so I shut the door.
She obviously told him afterwards. He came to me and said that he was a photographer and did I want to see some of his work? I said ok, and then I realised I had a dumb moment. There were photos of women in various tied up positions posing with bright red arses and I said to him that what he did was his business and good luck to him and the gals but I didn’t want to know any more. All was good. My lease was only a 6 month one so around 3 months later I left.
Hilarious now come to think of it. Little did I know that my flat mate was making extra money on the side selling pot and hard core porn pics in the room next door.
Oh the colourful life I have led. Nothing shocks me now.
I remember eating generic tuna and 2min noodles for a week to pay for the electricity bill, boxes covered with a sarong made a great coffee table and it was cool to be a hippie and sit on cushions on the floor rather than a lounge.
I flatted with a guy who appeared really nice and we got on from the first meeting. We chatted for hours and so of course 3 weeks later I moved in. The beach was a 5 min walk from our unit, the cafe strip was a 5min walk in the other direction and uni wasn’t far either.
He was wonderful to start with. Cleaning up after himself, while I would go for a walk he would wash the floors. Fantastic.
Then, he turned. He had an obsession with dark black chocolate ice cream. He would almost get his whole hand in the tub to dig the stuff out and then leave black finger prints all over the white freezer door. He would leave dishes everywhere, and this was bad because he was always eating.
Little did I know that the constant eating of sweet stuff was the ‘munchies’. He had a hydro crop in his huge built in wardrobe which I discovered when I needed the vacuum cleaner and as he was leaving the unit he said to go into his room and get it. (I wondered why our electric bill was so high).
He had regular women in and out of his room at varying intervals and rather odd noises would resonate from there but I asked no questions and put my Discman on while I studied.
One day he left our unit and left his door open. On his bed to my surprise was a naked woman, hog tied with a ball gag on making all sorts of muffled noises. She was trying to say something but of course the gag stopped her. I had some knowledge of ‘role play’ so I asked her if she was ok to which she nodded and then I asked if she wanted me to take off her gag and untie her and she shook her head. I asked if she wanted me to shut the door and say I shut it and it wasn’t her asking and she nodded with what I can only describe as a ball-gag smile and a wink, so I shut the door.
She obviously told him afterwards. He came to me and said that he was a photographer and did I want to see some of his work? I said ok, and then I realised I had a dumb moment. There were photos of women in various tied up positions posing with bright red arses and I said to him that what he did was his business and good luck to him and the gals but I didn’t want to know any more. All was good. My lease was only a 6 month one so around 3 months later I left.
Hilarious now come to think of it. Little did I know that my flat mate was making extra money on the side selling pot and hard core porn pics in the room next door.
Oh the colourful life I have led. Nothing shocks me now.
And The Diva Is Back - Original post date August 17 2008
All I can say is that I had a religious experience this weekend. 'Oh My God' was blurted out more times than a 15 min conversation between 2 teenage bimbo Americans and Jesus was mentioned more in the last 24 hrs than at a Hillsong convention.
OK, Friends. If you don't want to hear all the sad somewhat 'personal' details of a Diva who has found her way back, turn off now, or be prepared to hear all the juicy details. (well, I won't give all the details)
I went out with army cop on a date Wednesday night and yes, Diva ticked off the 'snog a cop' box and lord is he a great kisser!
I met up with him for dinner on Saturday night and went back to his place and lord almighty. Who knew foreplay wasn't spelt fourplay? Seriously, I would have loved a four min entre before the main course arrived previously, but, hallalujah, lets just say hours past, and no, he most certainly didn't have any issues either!
I have been kissed in places I didn't know I had places. I felt things in my toes for God sake. Lord. I heard heavenly choirs of angels and I am sure fireworks were in full 'NYE' show.
If anyone has seen the Vicar of Dibley ep where she finally shags Davids brother and BoyZone start singing 'No Matter What' and the sparks fly and the fireworks are in full swing. Yep. That was last night...this morning....who knew a morning shag could be so fabulous!
Funny thing though. As I was falling asleep, a horrible thought came into my head. What the hell does my 'sex face' look like? I think it was a good thing that he had candles going. (I look particularly hot in very very low lighting). I couldn't see his sex face because without my glasses and in low light, I can't see the hand in front of my face but he has had laser eye surgery so his eye sight is perfect. The things you think about.
In all seriousness, I felt special last night. I haven't felt special in years. I haven't fallen asleep next to somebody being spooned and not wanted to tell them to piss off. Don't get me wrong. I am not doing the whole, 'I think I love him' crap. I love the sex! I am not even remotely attached emotionally. It is going to take a hell of a long time for that with anyone.
All I need to do is hope this whole event is repeated and not just a one off thing. Neither a one night stand nor a one night wonder that just sucks you in and then every time after that is a dud!
She is back people and lovin it. I am off to have a hot shower, take some nurofen (My muscles are really sore. Remember, this body doesn't exercise unless it is enjoyable and it has been a bloody long while since I have had a work out).
I apologise to you all for the less than subtle nature of this entry (no pun intended). I could have been much more explicit and descriptive but I will be keeping that to myself. I am a lady after all.
'I think I could fall madly in bed with you.' Anonymous
OK, Friends. If you don't want to hear all the sad somewhat 'personal' details of a Diva who has found her way back, turn off now, or be prepared to hear all the juicy details. (well, I won't give all the details)
I went out with army cop on a date Wednesday night and yes, Diva ticked off the 'snog a cop' box and lord is he a great kisser!
I met up with him for dinner on Saturday night and went back to his place and lord almighty. Who knew foreplay wasn't spelt fourplay? Seriously, I would have loved a four min entre before the main course arrived previously, but, hallalujah, lets just say hours past, and no, he most certainly didn't have any issues either!
I have been kissed in places I didn't know I had places. I felt things in my toes for God sake. Lord. I heard heavenly choirs of angels and I am sure fireworks were in full 'NYE' show.
If anyone has seen the Vicar of Dibley ep where she finally shags Davids brother and BoyZone start singing 'No Matter What' and the sparks fly and the fireworks are in full swing. Yep. That was last night...this morning....who knew a morning shag could be so fabulous!
Funny thing though. As I was falling asleep, a horrible thought came into my head. What the hell does my 'sex face' look like? I think it was a good thing that he had candles going. (I look particularly hot in very very low lighting). I couldn't see his sex face because without my glasses and in low light, I can't see the hand in front of my face but he has had laser eye surgery so his eye sight is perfect. The things you think about.
In all seriousness, I felt special last night. I haven't felt special in years. I haven't fallen asleep next to somebody being spooned and not wanted to tell them to piss off. Don't get me wrong. I am not doing the whole, 'I think I love him' crap. I love the sex! I am not even remotely attached emotionally. It is going to take a hell of a long time for that with anyone.
All I need to do is hope this whole event is repeated and not just a one off thing. Neither a one night stand nor a one night wonder that just sucks you in and then every time after that is a dud!
She is back people and lovin it. I am off to have a hot shower, take some nurofen (My muscles are really sore. Remember, this body doesn't exercise unless it is enjoyable and it has been a bloody long while since I have had a work out).
I apologise to you all for the less than subtle nature of this entry (no pun intended). I could have been much more explicit and descriptive but I will be keeping that to myself. I am a lady after all.
'I think I could fall madly in bed with you.' Anonymous
I Thought I Lived A Sheltered Life - Original post date July 27 2008
Well, last night my good self, wonder chick, blondie and red went to Sexpo. It was to be a post-hens night, but the hen was sick, so blondie decided to get married in Las Vegas and this was her post hens night. This story was really great in the end. She got married, very quickly, at the White Chapel and was shopping for toys because now they are married the sex will stop. (sounds oh so familiar)
Any who, we won the 'bride' a photo with some male strippers who I have to say are the most uncoordinated men on the planet. Just as well the bodies were hot, well from the neck down anyway. The photo was only to be with the bride, but the maid of honor and the brides maids made it in. Wonder chick dare me to grab some arse and of course I did. Don’t dare me to do anything because I will do it. He didn't flinch which I think is due to his arse being so tight. His arm also made it to one of my 'girls' on the way out of the photo pose. I don't think it was deliberate. When my girls are out there, they are kinda hard to miss! (mission accomplished).
My arse got a flogging by a chick in uniform (should have gone in for the snog but she did have a whip in her hand and I didn't want to take her on), my arse and 'girls' got more action in one night than in the last 7yrs and I had a good night, although I only had 1 beverage in my system.
To get onto the sex train as a 'couple' the door dick wanted either wonder chick and I to 'smudge my glasses' or he would. It just wouldn't have been fair to do that to wonder chick so I said to him go for it, but he quickly let us on. Seriously, I am a great kisser if I do say so myself. If anyone wants to test me out, let me know. I would like some expert opinions!
When we were checking out all the toys, I realized that during my 37 odd yrs on the planet, I have picked up a lot of knowledge and was giving expert opinion. I didn't buy any though, and I am now kinda regretting that because if I did have any toys I probably would have thrown them out when it came on the scene. Stuff me, I really should have kept them.......if I had any.......ok.....remember, what happens at sexpo, lunch, dinner, dare2diva, stays where ever it happened. Wonder chick bought some very sexy knickers (we all expect a parade), and the other gals were fighting over the tv remote batteries....take that however you will.
I got a call whilst I was on the train last night from a friend who was back in town visiting his sister and he asked what I was doing. I went to his sisters (she was away for the night....I didn't know that before I took up the invite) and Diva had a little too much to drink and lets just say, I have never really been into the friends with benefits thing, and I really should have stuck to that philosophy, but alcohol and sexpo makes you lose your mind.
Dear lord of all things hot.....what was I thinking???? I can't complain, however!
I did have a great night with the gals and I guess it ended satisfactorily.
Any who, we won the 'bride' a photo with some male strippers who I have to say are the most uncoordinated men on the planet. Just as well the bodies were hot, well from the neck down anyway. The photo was only to be with the bride, but the maid of honor and the brides maids made it in. Wonder chick dare me to grab some arse and of course I did. Don’t dare me to do anything because I will do it. He didn't flinch which I think is due to his arse being so tight. His arm also made it to one of my 'girls' on the way out of the photo pose. I don't think it was deliberate. When my girls are out there, they are kinda hard to miss! (mission accomplished).
My arse got a flogging by a chick in uniform (should have gone in for the snog but she did have a whip in her hand and I didn't want to take her on), my arse and 'girls' got more action in one night than in the last 7yrs and I had a good night, although I only had 1 beverage in my system.
To get onto the sex train as a 'couple' the door dick wanted either wonder chick and I to 'smudge my glasses' or he would. It just wouldn't have been fair to do that to wonder chick so I said to him go for it, but he quickly let us on. Seriously, I am a great kisser if I do say so myself. If anyone wants to test me out, let me know. I would like some expert opinions!
When we were checking out all the toys, I realized that during my 37 odd yrs on the planet, I have picked up a lot of knowledge and was giving expert opinion. I didn't buy any though, and I am now kinda regretting that because if I did have any toys I probably would have thrown them out when it came on the scene. Stuff me, I really should have kept them.......if I had any.......ok.....remember, what happens at sexpo, lunch, dinner, dare2diva, stays where ever it happened. Wonder chick bought some very sexy knickers (we all expect a parade), and the other gals were fighting over the tv remote batteries....take that however you will.
I got a call whilst I was on the train last night from a friend who was back in town visiting his sister and he asked what I was doing. I went to his sisters (she was away for the night....I didn't know that before I took up the invite) and Diva had a little too much to drink and lets just say, I have never really been into the friends with benefits thing, and I really should have stuck to that philosophy, but alcohol and sexpo makes you lose your mind.
Dear lord of all things hot.....what was I thinking???? I can't complain, however!
I did have a great night with the gals and I guess it ended satisfactorily.
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